…and that’s why there is no attachment


rsz_1sex_workerProfessional sex workers are as important to men as professional therapists, counselors, and psychologists are to women. If relationships mean the world to most women, and they do, then they like therapists who help them navigate the choppy waters. Women are more complex than men. We are also given more freedom to express our emotions in society.

The same goes for men with professional prostitutes. Men are simple. Prostitutes are likely the top women on his list because they’re willing to do whatever he wants and needs to please him with no relationship so he can continue being dedicated to his work and money. Today, at this moment, that could be considered toxic masculinity. I’m really not sure. I’m observing the issue. That’s love and that’s heaven for him, just as relationships are for women.

Yet think about the fact that in American society, sex is not considered loving, is degraded, is ultra natural and is considered to be far below bonding, relationships, and love. Two men, I’ve spoken with absolutely agree that sex can be like defecation to them and that’s fine. No woman I’ve talked to would view sex that way in a million years. Sex is spiritual and emotional for us and it really is toxic for a man to ask us to be any other way. Women that agree to that hate men. But men are supposed to submit to female values which are widely considered to be superior. Are they? Or are these values biased? Are women’s sex values ever toxic? Like, only marrying a man for the child she can give him, the father role he can play, and the money he can provide while she does that? Isn’t she using him?

I have no position on this yet but I am examining the issue because I have very intelligent males friends (more than one), who believe it’s perfectly fine for women to be professional sex workers and treat me like they wish I was one, free of charge, no emotions. I’m not. I’m a human being, a woman with a warm heart, and a professional therapist. But the men in my office treat me like I should be a sex worker, unrelenting. The events in our society seem to be making men even more aggressive than before!professional therapist worker

What’s a good woman with a good heart to do who likes bonding and love? We live in a fallow garden. Our children grow up and move on with their lives. We have to cultivate doing what we love, have our own money and work and our own homes. It is a mistake to trust men or to rely on them for anything if you’re a good hearted woman. Above all, take care of your health. You’re the only one really keeping an eye on things. That’s the reality, only no one wants to admit it.

 

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Famished


Ciron-the-centaurI am so dull at the specter of rapacious male lust that is overfull and never sated.

Colossus centaur in his superhero fantasy, piggish and greedy for huge breasts and a river of pussy.

It’s just food to him…her body. Just…a meal to gratify his insatiate greed…unless he loves her.

He can turn into a freak devil that does the same thing with hollow power…unless he loves her.

Even if she wanted to she couldn’t fill his black hole of need. A surfeit of money, accolade, ambition, and respect is a snack, but he is not yet a muscle-bound giant so the bloody feast must rage on.

He doesn’t know anything divergent, no other way to prevail, so it’s not something to be rabid about. As a male, every single institution has indoctrinated him to dominate and be a consumer who overfills his barbarian, carnivorous soul. He wasn’t born this way, it’s calculated so he can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

As a woman, every single institution from her birth has taught her that it’s a handicraft to feed his hungry lost soul, that he cannot feed himself, that he needs to be fed by everything she is, can do or possess because he is barren. Is he really barren of love?

The truth is…he has it all because woman indulged him and gave him her vitality. She didn’t have to! She still does long to give him all of her allegiances and not be loved in return. Why? It’s her undoing. It’s calculated so she can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

He thinks it’s control from her because he feels dependent and hungry, controlled by his edacious body or the cruel vacuum of his mother’s love. And it’s not just the food he needs, its flavor. He’ll even go to another planet to consume what they have, trying to find a novel flavor. Why does she feel sorry for his empty belly that covers an unrequited heart? He has a heart. We know it.

I’m one of the trifling women that knows you have excitability that lasts beyond a hook-up. The thing about me though…is I don’t particularly care. If you don’t want me, I’ll start to forget about you. Out of sight out of mind!

Men are cursed nomads, wandering the earth without love in them or loving anyone outside of themselves until they really…do…let themselves receive the gift of loving a woman that is not his mother! and need to be with her. It’s totally up to him. All a woman does is exist as she is. She has no control over his choice…at all.

A woman is always complete in herself, fed, not famished, all by herself. But a man is not. His insatiable lust and thirst that calls forth our pity really, will never be quenched until he lets himself be with her completely. A woman needs to have compassion on his need and fall into his arms if he is unrelenting. And yes, she is feeding him, once again.

A man is truly healed and made happy by truly loving a woman, not so much by her loving him because she loves all the time! That is her gift to herself. Because she exists…he found her and he learns to love. That is the greatest gift a man can have and then he’s no longer famished.

Lisa T. 1/4/2019

 

 

Male Sexual Fantasy…that’s how you bond?


 

you've got to be kidding meMore information is hitting me today via my intuition about certain men I know and their behavior. I’ve been trying to figure out how men’s minds work for years now and never gave it much thought when I was younger and had no brothers so now I’m playing catch up. I know you’re more simple than us and I don’t need the lecture that I’m over-thinking.

There are two local men I know (in my town) that I’m sure are in love with me to whom I have zero interest or attraction. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m pretty sure guys are the same way. Some women get your motor running, other’s don’t, even if you “try” to give them a chance. These two men are like a dog with a bone simply based on the fact that several years ago I was nice or warm to both of them. (Please refer to my blog post “Warmth from a woman doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you.”). Also, the attraction over social media or the phone is absolutely bizarre to me. You can’t know any truth that way. Again, it’s just for male fantasy gratification and does nothing for the woman. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Just know that if you don’t actually meet a woman, she will drop you like a hot potato fairly quickly.

So, as I was eating my salad and soda crackers just now it hit me. Men’s minds are based on the fantasy of a woman he’s met or has talked to, not fact. Men’s minds form emotional, sexual fantasies based on projection and his own weaving of fantasy that he wants to believe. He also will project his own image via social media and when you meet him, he won’t necessarily look that way. That’s happened to me too. It’s not that we’re biased about the way you look, it’s that you lied and misled us. That’s going to get you in a heap of trouble guys.

I and every woman I know, are very rational about relationships and men. We look for certain hygiene, clothing, behavior, and financial facts, communication that absolutely tell us whether to let our motor run for you or not. We can control all of that. Yes, we do control all of that, like we’re shopping. I’m not saying that smell, pheromones, looks and such aren’t involved because they are at a very primal level. So yes, women say, “God he has a perfect booty.” and get all lusty, or “He’s super sweet and smart” but not the way men do. Every woman is different but it is never based on GQ crap…ever. However, if his tone of voice with us or the way he acts is vile, that fine booty counts for nothing, nada, zip, zero. We fall in love with the person and the potential for bonding, not your body. That’s how our brains work.

Why is that? Because our arousal is based on your vibe, whether you know us or not, whether you want to know us or not, our feelings, our relationship. You’re falling asleep already reading this and because of that, more women are going to be celibate. We can do that too.

graceful-girl-smilingDo you know how easy this face is to fake for women? More women have just given in to a man’s lust who cannot stop staring at and fantasizing about our breasts or pussy and cannot focus or hold a conversation. We’re like, “For god’s sake, listen to me.” No, you can’t listen to us if you’re staring at our lips or crotch and we know it.  and motivation, Millions of women make quite a bit of money taking advantage of men’s lack of sophistication when it comes to human relationship mostly through prostitution. You’ve set yourselves up! Improve your intelligence and this won’t happen.

So, you guys are completely irrational about any prospects of truly arousing us or knowing us or bonding because relationships aren’t even on your radar. Or to be fair, maybe you don’t “have” the radar. I am trying to be fair. I don’t think relationship and understanding female behavior is in your wiring and I’m done being mad about it. It’s simple. We need love, affection, and kindness in addition to sex.

This is tragic for women who then fake orgasm or does whatever we have to do for ourselves to enjoy our bodies because our culture has men completely brainwashed to believe that your penis is everything and all we need. That is SO wrong it isn’t even funny. I’ve been with men of all different “sizes”, body size and all the other pieces and it has not mattered one iota whether I was turned on or not. There are specific things that do matter but that’s for another blog. Every woman is different! And what is worse is there are millions of women out there who have given up and just let the man’s fantasies and his penis focus control her love life believing that you will NEVER be astute enough to get our sexuality and how we love.

I have not given up hope yet, but applying some rational fact and getting a handle on those sexual fantasy feelings will be a big step forward.

I welcome any questions. If you think I’m off on something, feel free to call me out but do so in a civil manner, please. I don’t have all the answers and I know I’m not always right.

 

Rational Passion


red serpent rising

 

What is passion?

The Urban dictionary says,

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”

The less precise but widely held definition is;

“strong and barely controllable emotion.”

That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with physical workout by the way.

The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.

But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.

I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.

I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic,  addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.

Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny? Women will never be allowed into any of those institutions.

All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.

It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party uplevels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.

I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.

I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself.

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?


Marilyn Vos Savant

This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.

This is a great article!

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?

The quick answer is jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.

This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.

However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.
The Mother

Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.

However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.

The black and brown men I know absolutely respect their mothers and forgive them their wrongs. What black and brown women go through is ten times greater than that of white women but ultimately, all women are pretty much in the same caste system with the brown and black men. We’re at the same social level below white men. White women try to get a leg up in the caste system by mating and marrying white men even though we generally don’t prefer them. This is from my informal surveys of women in my office for twenty years. White men have a sense of entitlement as far as how they’re supposed to be treated. I can absolutely say that the brown men I’ve known, in no way, have that going on and I hope to be on an equal social footing with my mate in the last half of my life.

I can tell by the way brown and black men talk about their mothers and what they do for them that they love and respect their mothers and grandmothers. They don’t always agree or like them but who does? There is no comparison to the way my two white mates spoke about their mothers; with complete derision, calling them stupid and ignorant and saying they wish they’d been adopted.

The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.

That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.

Possessing Free Will Does Not Make us Separate From One Another


Deterministic philosophy is all the rage and so very hip these days. Machine learning, A.I., tech, humans as cogs in a wheel and not really culpable for our choices from second to second. There is no moral responsibility and no duty then. Everyone is completely free to be low level selfish and just use each other. Why not stare at our androids and be macabre and depressed? Add to that disparaging spirituality, the existence of God or Source and outright hatred of religious expressions and sentimentality and it has become an emotional bias on the part of the anarchists, the clever, and the elite. Maybe they feel oppressed or in the minority on this issue? Too many people are happy and positive, empowered and taking action and making them want to hurl? Statistics have shown that most people on the planet believe in God and an afterlife. That’s terrible news for a determinist in their cave of cynicism.

We could be rational and intuitive, instead of pretending to be just rational like a robot. Let’s get a handle on our emotions. Yes, you do have feelings. We all do. Men especially need to be allowed to be human beings, not robots. And frankly, it’s up to the women to kind of, open the window and let the fresh air in for them. It does require a lot of patience and sighing. We’ve had permission socially to be emotional and intuitive for thousands of years as mothers. Men have NOT had permission and it’s a freaking debacle for them and for everyone!

First, here is the definition of deterministic philosophy and it’s types. It’s not very long;

Click here Unless You Don’t Read. Then I insist You Click It.

” A theory that all events, including moral choices, are completely determined by previously existing causes. Determinism is usually understood to preclude free will because it entails that humans cannot act otherwise than they do. The theory holds that the universe is utterly rational because complete knowledge of any given situation assures that unerring knowledge of its future is also possible.

Wait…the scientists can barely predict anything with any accuracy, especially when it comes to theoretical physics. They blame the existence of infinity for that. Yes, infinity has been proven.

Infinity is Ruining Physics

Real analysis

In real analysis, the symbol {\displaystyle \infty }, called “infinity” or the leminscate, is used to denote an unbounded limit.[21] The notation {\displaystyle x\rightarrow \infty } means that x grows without bound, and {\displaystyle x\to -\infty } means that  xdecreases without bound. If f(t) ≥ 0 for every t, then[22]

  • {\displaystyle \int _{a}^{b}f(t)\,dt=\infty } means that f(t) does not bound a finite area from {\displaystyle a} to {\displaystyle b}
  • {\displaystyle \int _{-\infty }^{\infty }f(t)\,dt=\infty } means that the area under f(t) is infinite.
  • {\displaystyle \int _{-\infty }^{\infty }f(t)\,dt=a} means that the total area under f(t) is finite, and equals {\displaystyle a}

Infinity is also used to describe infinite series:

  • {\displaystyle \sum _{i=0}^{\infty }f(i)=a} means that the sum of the infinite series converges to some real value {\displaystyle a}.
  • {\displaystyle \sum _{i=0}^{\infty }f(i)=\infty } means that the sum of the infinite series diverges in the specific sense that the partial sums grow without bound.[citation needed]

Infinity can be used not only to define a limit but as a value in the extended real number system. Points labeled {\displaystyle +\infty } and {\displaystyle -\infty } can be added to the topological space of the real numbers, producing the two-point compactification of the real numbers. Adding algebraic properties to this gives us the extended real numbers.[23] We can also treat {\displaystyle +\infty } and {\displaystyle -\infty }as the same, leading to the one-point compactification of the real numbers, which is the real projective line.[24] Projective geometry also refers to a line at infinity in plane geometry, a plane at infinity in three-dimensional space, and a hyperplane at infinity for general dimensions, each consisting of points at infinity.

Blah, blah, blah. As you can see, infinity is “a thing”.

Freewill increases unity and interdependence, not separateness which is dysfunction and conflict. Human beings tend to be willful and passionate. We are emotional creatures and that’s a good thing. It makes us individual creators that have unique perspectives. That perspective helps the universe expand and therefore, each person counts in the universal scheme of things. There is no other reason to live. If we live in a deterministic universe where we truly have no say, you may as well not be alive. Why are you taking up space as a cog in a wheel if you really believe that? Since no one really cares or shouldn’t because it doesn’t matter, we can have never-ending war and just kill every person on the planet and then blow it up.

No thanks. And, it’s highly irrational for people who claim to be detached and rational to believe anything of the sort.

cropped-beautiful-tree.jpg

 

Continue reading “Possessing Free Will Does Not Make us Separate From One Another”

Serial Dysfunction; The Need to Fix or Control Events Around You


I’m still seeing this in people’s behavior near me and in society, but not as much. It’s an unwillingness to feel your real feelings in the middle of an event, something tragic or good that is happening, or in a close relationship. I’ve said this before and it bears saying again. It’s not about indulging or staying in an emotion but letting it flow like water down a stream. You need to stop trying to do so much around the event and for other people when it’s happening and sit with them, empathize, have compassion, not pity, and be quiet. It is only in that way that trust is garnered between people. Being bossy or authoritative will always be resented by human beings. Boss yourself around, not others. BYOB could mean “Be your own boss” and there wouldn’t be a need to “Bring your own booze.”

I’ve seen it over and over in my office. Human beings appreciate firm, loving boundaries and to hear your expertise, but don’t tell them what to do or how to feel or they have the right to resist you in any way they can and they will. A parent doing this to adult children or nearly adult children is particularly dysfunctional. You need to live your own life if you’re trying to live your life through your kids.

Sometimes just being there and just listening is all someone needs! Most of the difficulty in life cannot be fixed or controlled and it is incredibly obnoxious to be around someone who wants to do that when you as an individual are capable of feeling and flowing with your deep feelings, negative or positive, whatever it may be! Your body can only be aligned if you go into that alone or with one other person. Repressed emotions kill people! Overly indulged emotions kill people too so there is a balance called for. A professional therapist and Reiki treatments really help. It’s called high blood pressure, stroke, and addictive behaviors, so it’s fairly serious.

The elements of our society that think it’s funny, ridiculous, or immature to actually be authentic in expressing how you feel are psychologically damaged and need to stop projecting their denial onto others, making fun of them or being abusive. It’s a type of bullying. Repressed emotion leading to addiction isn’t funny; it’s tragic and we see it in the increased level of suicide, including the slow kind; society sanctioned alcoholism, sex crimes, drug addiction, religious addiction, materialism, and hate crimes.

I guess I’m a big hippie. Peace and Love baby. Here’s to a happier, healthier world that’s sober and creatively passionate.

peace-sign

 

 

A Segment From “Healer”


woman on pier

Shortly before I finished writing this book, I had a dream and intuition about my sister’s health, so when my mom called and told me what was going on, I was not surprised. After talking to her on the phone, I had a vision that applied to my sister’s situation and anyone going through recovery from addiction.

The subconscious mind that was imprinted on us from ages zero to six, predominantly by our mother in utero, but also our father if he was present, is our home on the shore (or woods), figuratively speaking. Year by year we build a pier, plank by plank, that we can walk out onto into the lake that is our conscious mind, aware of diversity amidst the unity that is the greater world, people, natural life, the planet, and the expanding universe.

If as the years’ progress, we let our planks rot with body abuse, guilt, grief, fear, blame, violence, war, negativity, and enmeshment, we are still supposed to have a safe, grounded shore to go to–the subconscious mind where we hail from which is our home and birth family.

The secure subconscious is what gives us the courage to leave the shore in our boat and go out and expand our conscious mind.  In that way, we learn that people are just different, even if we don’t understand them.  There are still universal traits among all humans that unify our one human race among the various cultures.

Healer on Amazon

A Star Is Born Movie Review


A Star Is Born Review-Vulture

This movie is doing very well in the review department so far and is still in theatres. But I saw this last night and was left a little flat frankly. I read the review found at the link above and agreed with most of it but I’d like to add that the movie lacked timbre change. The melodrama lacked strong up and down movement which is needed on the big screen. Instead, it was incredibly real, the acting so very real that I felt like I was a voyeur looking in on the very old, moldy issue of drug addiction and showbiz. I’m over it. Are you? I don’t feel that the story of “A Star Is Born” is a story worth re-telling now that we’re leveling past the subconscious drama of family dysfunction repeated in our own adulthood. Re-telling the story just keeps it going. That, and fame and fortune aren’t all they’re cracked up to be on a personal level.

The acting, from all of the cast, is Oscar worthy. Lady Gaga’s music and singing, the songs, Grammy worthy. I agree with all of that. But the movie as a whole did not hold together for me or move me very much. It was all very predictable, maybe because it’s about the fourth remake of this story?

I adore Lady Gaga even more than I did before. She is one talented woman and her acting was great! I feel like the movie goes to her. Kudos to Cooper for his work and the rest of the cast as well but she gets my biased admiration. Girl crush sismance.

ally-jacket-850x1300-800x1224

An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific


My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction. I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while.

Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.
Sunset-over-Sea-of-Galilee-tb102904518