Heartset-Body-Mindset


quote-i-am-a-human-being-not-a-human-doing-don-t-equate-your-self-worth-with-how-well-you-wayne-dyer-85-86-22

I think we’re both but one needs to happen before the other. We need to BE who we are before we get caught up “in the action” of the world or are afraid of missing out which is all the rage these days. You can’t substitute doing for being or you’ll trip up. I’m in that spot a bit right now, trying to get my vibe to relax into how I really feel. In my case, it’s a conundrum.

There are plenty of doer addicts who admonish you to take action when it comes to your own life but not very many who admonish you to sit still, go within, meditate, observe, be in nature or just BE, wherever you are. The doer addicts look very fit and toned but that doesn’t mean they’re healthy. They find it more righteous and respectable to be doing something which they call productive.

When it comes to Mindset we have the Mind piece of Spirit-Body-Mind. But when it comes to the Spirit, we have Heartset. I view this as a spiritual trinity;

Heartset-Body-Mindset

3 nested heartsI’ve also set the order differently because I believe the mind is in the shadow of the Heart and the Heart is eternal. The mind and body are contained within the Heart that lasts forever in some form; even the body but not in a physical manner. Bodyworkers would say the etheric body because we can feel it when we touch the physical body.

You might be judged as lacking by doer addicts who whip themselves and others for not being a better person so there is a guilt vibe there and a need for penance. They may have been raised in that religion. That comes from childhood or how their parents treated them. There is deep pain there that either they aren’t conscious of or don’t have the ability yet to bring to the surface which is ok. Patience, forgiveness, and boundaries are called for but don’t ever stop loving someone just because they have layers. It’s the human condition after all. That said, if they are deep into self-hatred and hate others keep them at arms length. That energy is very toxic.

Set your heart and your mind and your body can be whole. But you must do both. I will be making a series of videos focusing on this topic.

 

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a little chaos


pink roses

In this movie starring Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman, this is the scene of the presentation of Madame Barra to the King of France. She gave him an open pink rose. I just finished watching it.

The King: A light honest scent, natural and unforced. Some other roses seem faded and overblown.

M: That fate awaits all roses sire. All roses are open to the elements your majesty.

They bud, bloom, and fade.

The rose grows entirely unaware, changing from one state to another.

And although the elements may treat her cruelly

She knows nothing of it and continues to her end without judgment on her beauty.

Alas ’tis not the same for us.

King: If such a rose could speak, what would she say?

M: Yes, I am here and gave service under nature’s eye.

And after me, my children will be.

Is there any greater contribution or a more graceful end?

King: A wise rose. And what protection can the gardener afford this rose from the elements of change?

M: Patience, care, and a little warmth from the sun are our best hope, your majesty.

King: I am obliged to you madame for that sweet reminder.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez


AOC2

This is the new normal. She’s in the news every day which is no accident. We all know that what makes the news is somewhat scripted from on high. This new normal is two things; we’re being programmed to accept the type of woman that she is and the power she can wield and second, they want to see whether we’ll accept her or not or how we respond given the irrational resistance and scapegoating of Hillary. But be aware of what Hillary was scapegoated for; the sins of white men and their privilege. All white women are. This is a particular irrational bias we get projected onto us compared to other women, as though all white people are the same assholes. We birthed the bastards that do this to the world. “Yeah!” And, did Bill really do her any favor? To a great extent she could never be assessed in her own right because of him. That system of political power sharing for women has failed because of unrealistic patriarchal rules on men’s sexuality. This is a test.

I’m pretty sure she will be treated better. Plus she’s younger. Think about all the unconscious assumptions in there. She’s Hispanic, very smart, single, beautiful, thin, and young. Ok! There isn’t any depth in there yet as far as her record or character. Still, I like her vibe and the work she’s doing. I’m just pointing out how superficial we are about objectifying women so we can check how programmed we are.

Can you think of any other woman who you see every day since she was elected? It’s really unprecedented. What I find extremely refreshing is there is no man attached to her to define her, objectify her, or control her. She’s single (formally). There is no ring on that finger and that is such a good thing. The days are over for women to be a man’s territory or to be possessed by him. The men are going to have to win her heart and mind to share in her sexual energy, not just buy her affections or marry her into your attractive family, then get her pregnant. That is if she’s intelligent and not mired in provincial ritual lacking any imagination whatsoever.

As I’ve mentioned before, I believe she’s being groomed to run for President in 2024. Whoever mandates the grooming does it from their secret club. I don’t think any of us know who these people are. It’s the same people who made Trump President and told Hillary she would not get her chance. Our elections are fake. The electoral college proves that. My intuition tells me that in the next ten years we will have much more public gender equity and power-sharing and less marriage. I think that’s a good thing.

Permission


Sheldrake on Science

Who gives you permission to be who you are and act as you wish?

The people who live with you? Your boss? Your mate? Your parents?The government? The Church? The Bible or some other religious book?

“We do have laws that come from all of our governments. They are called The State. The two offshoots of The State are THE CHURCH and SCIENCE. Those two dogmas are essentially equal siblings that like to fight for transcendence over THE TRUTH. Neither one of them is going to win but they definitely kiss the parental butt of money and political power bequeathed on them from Big Daddy, The State.”-ME

The State

The State has always worked cooperatively with the Church and Science to keep the masses corralled. Keep that in mind as you watch TV and use social media. Don’t waste your time on reacting to politics. It’s all controlled by the media and whoever is above the President. They are excellent at mind control and crowd control as well as manipulating our feelings. Because of the above fact, in no way can we trust that we’re getting any real disclosure from any institution. So it would be a poor choice to need any permission to be who you are, create what you want and need to create from any of those folks. This is why the preponderance on creative self is so important. They do allow a few outliers as long as they don’t become too powerful and the rest of you view us as freaks. Humans love to see and hear what others create and it’s extremely empowering for all of us to express how we feel, move our bodies, paint, tell stories and engage with one another as co-creators.

State Money and Politics as Power

The worship of money and power stunts all of that and it’s bad for the planet. The healthcare industry is in the VICE GRIP of The State. Just today, I’ve gotten 10 health insurance robocalls from within my area code. That’s harassment to comply with the social order. I refuse to buy health insurance because I’m holistic and choose to spend my money on MYSELF. I’m not supposed to be doing that. I’m supposed to be oppressed, take their pills, get sick and die like everyone else. I’m non-compliant and see a Naturopathic Doctor. I recommend boycott no matter how much they nag and coerce you to spend money on health insurance. They’re not getting squat from me or millions of other holistic folks. Cash is Queen.

Permission

Permission to act comes from within you and I promise you, the Universe has your back. I’ve literally experienced it thousands of times. People may help you some but they will never have your back. You have to rely on yourself. We are free to work out the specifics of our destiny in these bodies of ours. You must be methodical and smart about your plan; not dramatic and reactionary. The over-emoting and holding onto the past is going to waste your time on this planet. Just get busy and give yourself permission to be the main actor in your life. The rest is mostly an illusion. Have fun!

 

 

 

An Expiration Date is Normal for Monogamy & Marriage


Divorced_couple_Credit_InesBazdar_via_wwwshutterstockcom_CNA_9_3_15

I’ve been married and divorced three times and I don’t regret any of it. All three of my husbands were brilliant, adoring men who tend to be what I prefer. I’m not an easy woman to live with because I’m passionate, freedom loving, willful, very physical, and intelligent. I’m pretty much a wild filly although when people see me, they assume I’m a chump or a pushover because I’m full of love, warmth and feminine energy. That’s all true until you cross my line. I’m very patient and will discuss anything and everything until I see you’re immature or not reciprocating. Then I’ll silently walk away.

Two of them actually ended because of death or tragedy. This reason for divorce is beyond our control. It takes a very negative toll on love and you both descend into the black hole of loss. Be sure to get help and climb out of it before you try to be in a relationship again. Otherwise, you’re offloading that grief onto someone else that doesn’t deserve it. You have to heal yourself with professional help.

There aren’t very many reasons to feel guilty about divorce. Life happens and it’s all difficult. Of course, this is my opinion from fifty-six years of observing humans and myself. Most couples do divorce after their kids are grown. And then sometimes they decide they are friends and get back together again. But the basis of any relationship needs to be friendship. Monogamy and marriage are a good idea when you’re reproductive age and having children. Your kids need both parents present if indeed they are present. Of course, the structure won’t work if one parent is busy being a workaholic or some other addiction. Then it’s all fake and harmful for the children. Still, you can try.

The balance of power between women and men outside of monogamy will only work if both are in complete freedom with their body and sex life. No more double standard. Also, the romantic fantasy needs to take a hike. Women are responsible for their feelings and men theirs. We no longer “make each other feel…”. The other day my friend advised, “Don’t be a nurse or a purse.” That can go both ways with a man or a woman! Meaning, seek interdependency, not dependency. When you’re married and monogamous, having a family, you’re dependent on one another. That’s just a reality but will end when the children are grown.

There is no expected possession, dependency or monitoring after monogamy. That’s parental behavior. I like monogamy but it should flow naturally out of what you feel, not rules, and is really only required when there are children involved. It should not be an expectation otherwise. I can’t remember a time when I did not hold this as a value. Even as a child I would express this kind of thing to my mother and she’d just snicker. I just believe in freedom, love, and creativity. If you have some emotional heavies to deal with, seek out a counselor. Don’t offload on family or friends. I think being too heavy or negative can ruin relationships. Everyone is at different levels with this but running more positive and less toxic energy should be at the ratio 85/15. I mean, a minor complaint or little fit is no big deal with a friend or lover but an ongoing heavy emotional habit or dysfunctional addiction is a relationship killer. There is no winning on that one. You must both be taking care of yourselves, yourself or you’re not desirable. That’s a no-brainer.

There is no rational point of marriage or monogamy after you’ve been married and had kids. There is no point of marriage and monogamy if you don’t want children. Every family ends at some point or should if it’s healthy! Otherwise, no one is growing and changing. I notice the women have a stranglehold on the men and the men have become dependent and couldn’t live without the woman. That’s a bad deal for men. Men can learn how to take care of themselves too! What happened to women being empowering for men in return for men being supportive of women? It needs to be a two-way street. Encouraging male dependency is not cool. Coddling a male or doing things for him that he can do for himself is very dysfunctional. I hope, as a culture, we realize that marriage, monogamy and falling in love has a biological function but after that, socially, it doesn’t usually work.

“I Forgive You”


 

Grudge

“You need to forgive your parents no matter what or you won’t be free. You’ll become enmeshed and then will think about them and talk about them too much to the point of not living within your own body and soul. It could even turn to blame which is handing them power over your life.”-Lisa T.

The word forgive is two words; for and give. So, you give before you’re asked when you forgive. The people who give before they’re asked are in loving relationships. Some religions teach that the Universe gives to us before we even have to ask because of Love. I’m not suggesting we will be or should always be in loving relationships but we could try and tip the scales in their favor.

In terms of intuition, we’re focused on the heart as an organ. We’ve all had a broken heart and it literally is a closing of the heart chakra which affects the heart as an organ. When the heart closes the mind starts to go out of commission and we have all kinds of mental illness manifesting.

The deepest heart scars are memories of child abuse toward us by our parents before we even knew what anything was. This can come in many forms but they are deep wounds given to us by people we relied on for everything. Child abuse is most definitely part of the human condition and human history. It’s nothing unusual at all even though some people would like to portray a romantic fantasy about it not existing. Incest is very common as well, more than we know I’m afraid. It is still taboo and not talked about widely yet.

Given all of that as adults, the first people we need to forgive are our earthly parents who always made mistakes like all of us do. But maybe they were outright bad people! That doesn’t mean you have to be as their child. Learning how to forgive is part of that. If the task of forgiveness hasn’t been achieved, there is not much chance at all for successful bonding with new people as an adult.

Wounded adults who have not forgiven use all kinds of excuses for avoiding intimacy. A common one is they make sure they have more power in a relationship than the other person. If you warn them ahead of time and make sure you’re so powerful emotionally that you hurt the opposite gender first that’s one of their tricks. Another trick is faking appeal to another person’s desire for you and pretending you desire them just to get superficial sex out of them the way you want it…at a distance. Then tell them they’re so hot that you hope they’ll never let the ship sail, then reject them first, sail the ship yourself, and see if they’ll go away or hope they’ll go away. These are games of a weak, wounded person. And they never tell the truth.

 

Not only that, they do not care about what you want or need and make it obvious by playing games. But they will keep telling you what a great person you are appealing to your ego until they want to teach you a lesson and stomp on you. It’s best to extricate yourself before then which means they don’t have you by the ego. All of this is a waste of time and they can’t really draw you in if you are grounded in your center. Simply cut them off and figure out how they got your attention so it doesn’t happen again. The usual lure is lust, at least it is for me. Just keep track of not so much what they say but what they do.

All I know is it’s a turn-off and I’m staying away. These are very manipulative people that had to learn to manipulate adults to survive and to get their way as children. They need a lot of therapy and they have not forgiven their faulty parents! This is what a lack of forgiveness does to the mind. So their cleverness is fully engaged in survival, profit, cynical, and not the least bit interested in reciprocity or love with the opposite sex. It could even turn to narcissism and likely does.

You might want to do some self-inventory and make sure your motivation for work and action in life is detached. Otherwise, you need to do some more forgiveness. Review those types of Platonic Love I posted about and decide that you’re not going to participate with others who are not loving. It may mean celibacy and not as much of a social life but it’s worth it for your health of body and mind.

 

Inside a Silent Tear


Saturday’s Spin comes from the great jazz singer Carmen McCrae. This song is remarkable. Guitarist Bucky Pizzarelli is on this with her. His son is guitarist John Pizzarelli who I met up at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island when my husband at the time, David L. Hay, was gigging with John. It was a Rosemary Clooney concert. Dave was the piano player for the Grand Hotel. We all had little kids. Ah, the memories.

 

Inside a Silent Tear
Inside a silent tear, I have a silent dream
That sometimes sails across the patterns of my mind.
The silence follows me and dreams just disappear
and then I find myself inside a silent tear
Sometimes I laugh too much
to lose the loneliness.
I’m not the laughing kind.
I can’t say anything I really want to say.
I guess I try so hard I stumble on the way.
I’m always finding love when it’s not meant to be.
What is reality and can it be defined?
When you’re a fool like me it’s never really clear
so you have silent dreams inside a silent tear.
I’m always finding love when it’s not meant to be.
What is reality and can it be defined?
When you’re a fool like me it’s never really clear
so you have silent dreams inside a silent tear.
Songwriters: Blossom Dearie / Mariah Blackwolf
Inside a Silent Tear lyrics © F SHARP PRODUCTIONS, LTD OBO BLOSSOM DEARIE MUSIC INC, DEARIE BLOSSOM MUSIC

“I’m Sorry”


 

I'm SorryWhat most people mean when they say I’m sorry is, “I’m sorry you caught me doing something I should not have and it hurt you.” They’re sorry they got caught. If you don’t get caught or no one is bothered by your action, you’re not hurting anyone right?

My first husband used to say, “Just don’t do it again.” Of course, a person is going to do it again. I did. In my case, when I’m mad I tend to say something hurtful. People always do what they feel they need to do, want to do or feel compelled to do no matter what anyone else says.

When a friend or someone I’m close to say they’re sorry, I believe them in that I do believe they don’t want to hurt me. But that doesn’t mean they’ll adjust their behavior “for me” nor should I expect it. Most people won’t. Our first loyalty is to ourselves emotionally and I guess that’s as it should be. Whether or not the person close to them can detach from the things that repeatedly hurt them or not is the question. After all, it’s not that we intentionally hurt others, it’s that others let themselves feel hurt by us. They don’t have to. They can stay detached from certain behaviors and not let themselves be hurt by it. How we feel is in OUR hands, not others. If someone tries to tell you otherwise just ignore them.

Check how you feel in your heart when someone close to you hurts your feelings. That is using your intuition. If you just have a new insight into their personality and don’t judge them or diss them, then you love them. Your intuition just helped you pivot away from letting their personal issue hurt you and you stayed in your own space. Good for you. Self-love is intact and loving them is intact. But you also have a new heads up to their weak point and can detach next time.

When they apologized did you receive their apology and forgive or let it go? Or did it scare you and now you hold a grudge? If you went into fear and resentment that is not loving. You are using your intuition in that situation too. Unless you move the feeling to your intuition you won’t be able to assess the relationship accurately. That’s why it’s important for both men and women to be in touch with how they feel in their body.

There are levels of apology that correlate with Platonic Love relationships. The Platonic Love blog is a few posts back. I feel humans are called to love at all times; Agape, Philia, etc. So even in professional client relationships, it’s important to apologize and forgive. Love at all times will change the world.

The Greek word Psyche means Intuition


purple woman

In Greek mythology, the word and name Psyche means intuition. It doesn’t mean mind, analysis, rationality, psychology, or psychiatry. The fact is both males and females have intuition but we need to talk about our higher minds as intuition. There is no other purpose for knowing and understanding emotions which manifest in the body unless we’re going to move them up to intuition. Intuition stimulates the higher mind to work in tandem with rationality which is slower. It’s the right and left brains which needs to be equal.

In Greek mythology, Apollo and Dionysus are both sons of Zeus. Apollo is the god of the sun, of rational thinking and order, and appeals to logic, prudence, and purity. Dionysus is the god of wine and dance, of irrationality and chaos, and appeals to emotions and instincts. Both of these characters have become a little problematic for our Psyche or Intuition.

It’s problematic in that we have the degradation of Psyche or Intuition. Even though at the end of her saga which was my last post, Zeus made her immortal. His son Apollo has tried to eclipse her since. In the national divinity of the Greeks, Apollo has been variously recognized as a god of music, truth, and prophecy, healing, the sun and light, plague, poetry, and more. Apollo is the son of Zeus and Leto and has a twin sister, the chaste huntress Artemis.

That sort of explains Apollo’s hyper-masculinity. His twin sister Artemis was the goddess of the hunt and was probably a better shot than him and likely a chaste lesbian. This is just playful conjecture on my part which I feel free to do with myth. Nevertheless, everything in Greek thinking has permeated Western society.

How did Intuition come to be degraded in submission to western, male, rational assessment? Psychology Today explains,

“Intuition is a mental matching game. The brain takes in a situation, does a very quick search of its files, and then finds its best analog among the stored sprawl of memories and knowledge.

From there, you’re able to listen to intuition and develop a “hunch” about a certain situation.

No. Intuition is not a hunch. It’s the psyche knowing what the truth is. It’s the higher mind, many times connected to Spirit or Source, guiding your path. It’s not just a hunch if you interview professional readers and intuitives. We literally can see the energy, events, and people around someone like a movie and tell the client what they are creating or drawing to them or who or what is still hanging around in their space. Then they can change it if they wish now that they’re aware of it. My clients and millions of others always confirm what we see so we know we’re right. Everyone can do this for themselves if they’d open their minds and allow the connection. But there are so many societal biases and fears that most people don’t. It’s a mistake.

It is very insulting to call it “fortune telling”. You create your life in every aspect and we’re just seeing what you’re creating. There is something to destiny but the details of your destiny are chosen by you. This is very important and very empowering as opposed to a therapist telling you that you can’t change your past. We believe that in a way, you can. You can re-vision it to your liking. They may say, “But that’s denial”. Yes. Deny negative circumstances that you ARE aware of and did happen, that you are not denying happened, to remain in your psyche. Stop talking about it, feeling it, and defining yourself by it! Decide for yourself that you no longer need it in this dimension or the people who perpetrated it. You can cut them off if it was very, very bad and I encourage people to do that as long as you’re really done with it. Create something new for yourself that is balanced with who you are and what you want that includes your intuition and rational planning.

There is no need to go off the deep end with emotions or get dramatic about anything. The way to do that is to take care of the body and nutrition, make sure you are grounded in the body and have some structure to your self-care habits especially if you were not raised to take care of your body yourself. That’s very common so again, no need to complain about it. When it comes to physical care, overstep the emotions and just do it no matter what mood you’re in. That re-wires the brain. That’s where you start and any good fitness coach, medical massage therapist, P.T., or Reiki therapist can help you with the bodywork and the rampage of loving your body. I do that all the time with myself and my patients.

Remember that paying for and seeking help with your new life is money well invested and not a sign of weakness but strength. That said, you still have to do most of the work yourself.