Heartset; For Women; Red Flags to Spot Bisexual Men

anima and animus

If you’re not looking for a heterosexual partnership, then none of this will matter to you. I am looking for that. This is the second time it’s happened to me and now I’ve learned to spot the cues. Please note, this is not a judgment in any way, shape or form of bisexual men. However, I feel they should be upfront about being bisexual if they are active before they ask you to have sex with them. This last fellow was not honest, at all, presents as straight in public and maybe in the closet. In fact, he’s faked out quite a few women to take advantage of them.

The cues are:

  1. They’ve never been married and have no children even in their 50’s.
  2. They admit they’ve been serious with 2-3 women in their life.
  3. They admit they do not want a relationship. In other words, they are promiscuous or at least polyamorous.
  4. They admit having unresolved childhood abuse issues.
  5. They call multiple women sweetie, honey, throw around the kissing emoji’s on social media like they’re candy, and are very goopy publicly with straight women. No straight guy is like that with women. No way no how. It’s gay.
  6. He is very good looking and does all the superficial landscaping and tanning of his body to lure women in like Fabio. LOL
  7. He likes money and to be perceived as alpha compared to straight men
  8. Most of his followers are women
  9. Most of his activity is on social media, not in person because he knows you’ll be able to scope him out too easily and learn the truth.

What do you think? Have you known men like this? Am I onto something or am I off? No hate mail, please.

You may be alone or single and in need of male attention which makes you vulnerable. After all, straight guys are not known for being very expressive, romantic, or sweet; not like gay men! Some women like or need that more than others which makes you an easy touch for a good looking bi-sexual man who will use and throw you.

You’ve been warned. Being a straight woman is no picnic these days because straight men are in the throes of social change. As you know from reading my blogs, I endorse self-care and not needing a man to adore you. The synchronicities start to line up and it’s very likely you’ll attract a soul mate or your Twin Flame as you center yourself in self-love. That’s where I’m finally sitting. Being lusty about men has gotten me into a heap of trouble. I’ve decided it’s not worth it anymore.


15 Replies to “Heartset; For Women; Red Flags to Spot Bisexual Men”

  1. I am gay but have been with many bisexual men. Some of them eventually ignored me in favor of women, and some of them eventually ignored me in favor of men. A lot of them do fit what you were saying but I’ve noticed that there are more bisexual men out there than people think, and that a lot of them either identify as straight or gay because they are afraid of being known as a bisexual man due to the stereotypes. Regardless, definitely an important topic to bring up, so props to you for doing that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing that. I agree and actually believe most men are bisexual. But I don’t think most women are and have theories about that as well. I’m realizing how incredibly tough it is for men to be honest about who they truly are in this culture.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. As a bi guy, I find this interesting and more so since I’m pretty sure I don’t match any of the cues you mentioned… and some of the guys I know who come close, to my knowledge, are straight. I will tell you that one of the things that makes people insane and paranoid is not being able to easily identify a bisexual man; even a bi guy can’t identify another bi guy unless that guy says he’s bi. Otherwise, guys are gonna behave in whatever way they behave and for whatever reason makes sense to them.
    And I’d point out that gay men and bisexual men are two different creatures – just saying and without any offense meant to anyone. The reason why it’s tough for men to be honest about who they really are is what you had to say about this and like we’re the worst people ever born when the truth is we aren’t, well, not as a matter of course but I understand it – it’s easier to accept the negatives and run with them and not pay much attention to anything else. Tell a straight woman that you’re bisexual… and hang onto something because chances are she’s gonna shred you something fierce and, honestly, I don’t know of any man who likes this reaction one bit.
    One of the things I’ve heard almost all of my life from both men and women who learn that I’m bisexual is, “You don’t look like the type…” and the type they’re talking about is gay – again, no offense meant to anyone who is gay. Truth is we’re not gay; another truth is many, many of us are more straight than anything else and, hands down, we love women and in all their insane glory. Another truth is that we, as bi guys, probably have more in common with women than straight men do since, um, we tend to learn a lot of the same stuff about men that women do… and the same stuff women can’t stand about us.
    If I hadn’t told you that I am bisexual and we were to meet, chances are you’d never have a clue that I was because I don’t behave any differently than any other guy, like being serious with more than one woman in their life to date; some guys are serious about every woman they come in contact with, some feel that being serious with just one is what works for them… and neither thing means the guy is bisexual but if a guy has been serious with a lot of women, um, what does that really tell you?
    Maybe it should be telling you how much he adores women because it’s almost a given that a guy who doesn’t just might be gay, depending on who you talk to.
    I’ve been bisexual damned near all of my life. I’ve actually studied male bisexuality and even I couldn’t tell you what a bi guy looks like, how he is prone to behave or any of those other “cues” you mentioned and, again, I know more straight men who fit your cues than bi men who do. Here’s another truth: Most bi guys, when they find a woman they can love and be with, throws away their bisexuality in favor of being with her and fiercely embrace monogamy. The sad truth is some guys don’t – straight or otherwise – and, overall, it just is what it has always been. Yet another truth: Most bi guys don’t like men like they do women. Yep… they like the sex – if they’re even having it (and a lot of bi guys don’t, by the way)… and that’s about it; they save their feelings of love and true intimacy for women only.
    Still, all it takes is for one bad apple to spoil the whole thing. All of the stereotypes you’ve ever heard are based upon the actions of a lot of bad apples which, sadly, gives all bi guys a bad rep… and one they don’t really deserve because they’ve done nothing to deserve it other than to be guilty by association. So, yeah – methinks you’re way off-base with your cues. I’ll leave you with something I’ve observed over my whole life:
    Women expect and demand us to accept them as-is and regardless of any faults or imperfections they may have and they tell us that if we don’t like who they are and can’t accept them as they are, well, get to stepping, homey – your services are no longer required. For a man to tell a woman that she should accept him as he is just doesn’t work – I know because I’ve tried this one and have had my head handed to me for such ridiculous thinking. But this is how things have always been, haven’t they? There’s always been a rift between men and women and one that’s now being made worse when you add bisexuality into the equation. It’s seen as a major problem when, in fact, it really isn’t… until someone sees it as a problem. It points out, I’m sad to say, how shallow we are as a species; it points out a glaring inability for us to accept each other as we are and no matter how we are. It holds everyone to a standard that, here in 2019, isn’t as true as it once was – and like it was when I was growing up way back in the 1950s.
    The world is changing… and some people – men and women – are not. Is a straight woman being with a bisexual man a bad thing? Not as much as you think since I know a lot of bi guys who are happily married and making babies like it’s illegal and I know because I’m one of them. I say to you a few things: Don’t judge and don’t hate; don’t make all bi guys guilty of something that they may not be guilty of. If, in your past, some bi guy did you wrong, that was that guy – doesn’t mean all bi guys are nasty, horrible people.
    Judge a man on what he’s gonna do for you and not some misperception of what you think he might do; if you do this, chances are you’re going to see “bi guys” everywhere and any time you look at a guy who just might be doing those cues you mentioned… because that’s just the way he is… and he might not be bi but because you think he fits the general description, you just might have dissed the guy who could make all of your wishes come true… and chances are he could still do that even if he was bi.
    I’m not saying you’re wrong… but like a lot of women, you’re misinformed and I am the bi guy who will tell you that you are since, you know, I am a bi guy.


    1. I said I wasn’t judging bisexual men at the top of the article so that is sliding off of me. Straight women have a right to know if a man is purely straight or not. Now I will continue reading.


    2. No. I did not shred the last fellow who was my friend forever since 1986, something fierce. He ditched ME when he realized I was committed to finding a straight man and didn’t want to play both sides of the fence. It’s wrong for gay and I people to get judgmental of straight people bc we are really committed and want to be straight. I don’t care what anyone does sexually but respect ME for being straight!

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Yes it does work for a man to say to a woman that if she loves him, she accepts him. You may be talking about bitch type women who are man’s trainer. That’s not me. I’m an independent cat type. But you can’t lie to me or hold secrets or all commitment is off.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. Dude, I’m not misinformed. I said in the blog that I believe MOST MEN are bi at the end of the day. I have judged no one and you are judging ME. You’re wrong. It’s simple. While I’m loving and living with a man, he’s with me only whether he has other proclivities or not. I don’t care. But I’m straight and do not want to marry again bc honestly, I don’t think most men are emotionally stable and thus can’t make up their minds. Eh, this is why so many hot women are single.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi, Lisa. I was engaged to a man in his early 30s who fits your list of bullet points. After being lovedbombed and falling for him he revealed that he had sex with his roommates! l took a lot of LGBTQ theory classes in grad school and when he revealed this to me, my first reaction was not to judge him because he revealed something so intimate with me and said he would be faithful and monogamous for us. It took a long time to piece the puzzles together; he bought a dog for his roommate, lived with him for several years, was going to foster kids together that I realized what was truly going on. Later, I also found out that he raped his sister for 10 years, a mentally handicapped cousin, and two boys. His mother who is a pastor of a church protected him from being prosecuted. He is a teacher! I realize that what he really saw me as in our relationship was as an incubator for his eggs. On date one he mentioned that his mother was grandkids, not that he wants children of his own.

    I agree with you. Bisexual men ( I think that he is gay because he was horrible in bed and later said he didn’t like to be touched after we tried unsuccessfully to have a baby) need to tell a woman on the first date. It’s selfish to waste our time. As for the guy that I was with I think he and his mother are both sick narcissists.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow. Thanks for sharing. That sounds like the profile and MANY straight women waste their time on these men. Our culture is so dysfunctional with touch, sex and boundaries. Thanks for sharing!! Feel free to comment on any of my other old posts. I sometimes miss posting on female-male relationships. I might go back to it at some point.


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