I think Oscar Wilde was old school. We’ve all been friend-zoned and it is possible. It’s much easier to be friends with a gay man than a straight man and vice versa for men for obvious reasons.
If a man is attracted to me, maybe he actually hit on me and tried to set up a “hook-up” as opposed to a date. Being a woman, I lean towards a date to keep things at a human level as opposed to the meat market level. A “hook-up” is giving in to the guy’s low standards or no standards of relationship. They might not see it that way but I/we do. Many women today do give in to it and use men for sex only also. Patriarchy has taught women to do that. It’s the man’s way, not the woman’s way and can be considered realistic or cynical depending on your perception.
As a woman, I’m actually looking for the friend-zone with a straight guy I’m attracted to so we can be lovers. Men think women friend-zone them if they’re not interested in sex because that’s what men do to women but that’s not the case when a woman has high standards but isn’t into possession. Men friend zone women that;
A. They are not attracted to.
B. They’re attracted to but she won’t have sex with him quick enough.
I’ve been friend-zoned by my Twin Flame based on several infractions actually, but I don’t want to get into it because he makes me mad. I hurt his feelings. I get it. But I apologized and he has not accepted and maybe will not forgive me. See; cold-hearted.
Will a man do friend/lover? Or do they have to have P/P.; either a prostitute or possession? Meaning, does a man have to think, “You let me have you too quick like a prostitute, I got my jollies, even though that’s what I wanted, so now I drop you.” or “I adore your body and you and I’m in love with you, let’s be a couple.”
My point is, women WANT the friend-zone with a straight man they like. Most of us require it or we’re not turned on. We’re relational. Men don’t want the friend-zone because…they’re turned on by meanness and their own power trip, not niceness? Relational makes them limp? I think so but I’m not sure. It’s a jungle out there.