It’s a good feeling to have enough in common with someone that you feel happy and relaxed being with them. This is nothing to take for granted because we are each very individual people within ourselves that need to be honest. We all want someone to know who we are for some reason. It seems to me, that honesty has to some extent been whipped out of us by the media, at least in America, to the point of most people not really knowing who they are because they have to be fake to make a modicum of money. I used to live like that and I don’t anymore. I’m completely working in my truth and I always have what I need monetarily. Consequently, my health is improving. The Universe works that way. Just be yourself.
The glitches start to come when you’re afraid you’re not loveable to another…really. I speak from experience. None of our parents perfectly loved us and some even completely failed to love us by being abusive and neglectful. Meaning, human parents can only be expected to love their children on a very basic earth level of keeping you fed, clothed, warm, clean, and healthy because we live on a war-torn, evolving planet. On Earth, you’re fortunate if you have food to eat and someplace to defecate. Throw some warm affection in there and that’s actually great. I think most parents succeed in this but some really were in no position to have children and you showed up. Someone can tell you that none of it was your fault but it doesn’t feel that way. That’s where having a relationship with Spirit and your Intuition comes in to heal that. You can use talk therapy until the cows come home but you also need to move the energy in your body which is what bodywork and a healthy workout are for. Counseling can teach you things and help you move your mind around but your literal energy in your body needs to be moved as well on a level of manifestation.
The subconscious mind is patterned with a deficit because the mother and father set those patterns. The good news is, over time and with focused habit, your conscious mind as a soul can overstep the subconscious mind so that you sit in soul truth. Who you are as an eternal soul are the feelings to run and they are unique to each person. The risk is when you start being intimate emotionally and physically with someone, those unconscious memories of not being loved well as needed by your parents start to come up. Again, I speak from experience.
I have completely pivoted on this. Even if I am a lover, friend, committed and living with someone, in no way will I become dependent on them or feel I can control or change them. I know how to nurture and love myself. I don’t want, in any way, to relate to them the way I did to a family member. Nor do I need to do that anymore. That pivot will put you out the outside leading edge. Just a flag to you. You will start to be internally healthy, happy, and independent when most people aren’t.
I believe that this is the only way an adult relationship can succeed is if you are both self-actualized adults and no longer responding emotionally the way you did in your family. Maybe once in a while, it may unconsciously surface, but it’s your responsibility to see that it’s rare and to love your partner or friend as much as you love yourself. That’s true love. Obviously, you have to look in the mirror and love yourself first.