I had to do something other than a bar scene to get back out there. Its real purpose is just to be social. I’m not looking for a mate because I’m in touch with my Twin Flame. But he is on the west coast. Besides, a little competition on that front can’t hurt.
My intuition tells me that nothing will come of it but I knew that. It’s more of a social experiment to see how the dating game has changed since I was in my thirties. Now it’s about sexting. Some of the men don’t actually want to meet you. They’re probably married so it would be a secret way to cheat on their wife or spice up their sex life, men needing novelty of course. Also, if they met you in person it would make you too human and when it comes to women, most men can’t have that. It’s too intimidating for a woman to be a real human. Then they’d have to talk to you and treat you with respect instead of acting like a dog in the alley ready to take any b…. ready to go. There’s that.
This whole issue is making me like my Twin Flame all that much more. Not only was he willing to meet me in person, but he also offered to fly to Grand Rapids first and I decided it would be better if I went there first. Then I did. He was the real deal and still is, even though it got very Twilight Zone once I was out there. That still had to be the weirdest experience of my life. Still, he was a badass and treated me like a queen even though we had our normal spats. He’s a real man, super intelligent and on my beam. I miss him all that much more. I’ve apologized for how insecure I got (he did too), he’s accepted and I’ve invited him to come here in May or around that time. We are absolutely peaceful and warm now; no tension. Here’s to hoping he comes! Maybe we won’t freak out this time.
So, because of that testosterone effect, I’ve concluded that guys that are not good looking shoot for very good-looking women and guys that ARE good looking shoot for very hot women. It’s still all about looks online and the men look at women as enhancements to their ego and status.
My intuition tells me to keep taking care of myself and focus into my heart and mind on my twin flame. There is just no comparison at all. When you’ve met the best, nobody else will do. This is very apparent now. Maybe that’s why I did the month trial.