I have taken out what Dina Leygerman wrote previously. Her writing can stand on its own and my writing can stand on its own. Be mindful though, that I responded to her original piece and I’ll be adding thoughts and ideas as time moves forward.
NO THANK YOU with regard to Dina’s attitude and approach to feminism. The women who’ve gone before us can be our examples if we listen and learn. I’m a free woman and so are millions of others. No woman gave us our voice. We were born with it and we cultivate it ourselves. At most you could say God gave you your voice and your mother in utero.
There is no amount of pain and sacrifice that will increase what has already been given to us in abundance. These women were teachers who did what they wanted to do, from what they felt from inside of them. I doubt they would characterize what they did as some kind of holy sacrifice. Their example of feeling bold within themselves to say how they felt was where the power was not a sacrifice!
Because we watched and listened, observed and learned from them, we find ourselves where we are now, not because of them. They were not a necessary Jewish blood sacrifice in the spirit of the Old Testament whose values were perpetrated onto Jesus Christ. There is no necessary blood sacrifice!
We do nothing to earn our rights. We are born into these rights. We reap the benefits of watching and reading about these women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for themselves and everyone like them.
There was so much jealousy, resentment, and disdain I read in the first article because many women have not freed their own souls and come to love themselves. No one is on a pedestal. Being a student of change is not complacent. Some people prefer peace to resistance. Many people, not just women, are deluded about blood, guts, sacrifice, and pain is a good thing and is brainwashed and emotionally injured by religion and Christianity. I was raised in a rigid religion! I know what it feels like and what it takes to free myself from the clutches of family expectation and denial. I know the feeling of being alone in a new place, knowing no one but feeling free because my family cannot control my heart, my mind, and my feelings! We do not have to live in a provincial world where we are constantly channeling our ancestors and being freaked out by what our small town or our family might think of us!
WE ARE equally loved and cared for in the eyes of the Universe. WE ARE equal in that we each have a BODY, a MIND, and a SPIRIT. WE ARE equal in that we have a certain amount of TIME on this planet to take our own inclinations and ideas and write, do, or create something new. Turn your media off and tune into YOUR BODY, YOUR BREATH, YOUR BEATING HEART.
Human beings are each different. Women are different than men. Repeat that over and over. Yes, we each have male and female in us but we have very different brains. That’ s all been studied. Women who do not want to act like men or hate men do not deserve to be bashed by angry women. You do not embody love if you think you can tell another woman or another human being WHO THEY ARE. It’s evil and weak.
Not all women feel victimized and dis-empowered because they know how to take care of themselves! Women who get the education they need, do the hard work, make hard choices, stay focused and disciplined can excel beyond most men in every way. It’s up to the woman!!!
As far as our bodies, we have more access to contraceptives in the drug store than we ever have. We have more knowledge about how our bodies work than ever before. Women still always do whatever they want physically. They find a way and always have. Be resourceful. We have the choice to sit in our bodies and feel them, pay attention to how they process, pay attention to when our bodies clench and when they release. We each sit in our body 24/7. The government, the Church, nor the doctor sit in your body AT ALL. You do.
A woman can learn martial arts!!! Men are attacked too.
As far as pregnancy, It is a choice to financially plan for all of that before you get pregnant. If you want to be in control of your body, control your pregnancies too! Pregnancy happens in the body so take control of your pregnancy! Breastfeeding in public is no different than going topless in public. No matter what the reason, men don’t walk around without pants on, neither do women, and women don’t fully expose their breasts in public for any reason. That’s our culture. Most people are not opposed to breastfeeding in public. They’re opposed to nudity. I’m not opposed to nudity at all but I love and know my body and accept every type of body on my work table. Just cover up a bit. It’s simple.
Men are objectified as much as women.
Men are cat-called on FB and in strip clubs. I just saw a FB friend extol her husband’s ass on FB. If a man did that he’d be called out and chastised. I tend to fawn over men’s bodies with my friends. I do it like I m appreciating art or a tree; not for lust. My attraction to a man is based on emotional bond.
Men are sexualized too. Men are judged for their weight too. Men are told they need to appear young too and are sold products to do that. The brand of car a man drives and how much money he has mattered more than his degree too to very superficial women. Men are physically and emotionally abused by women. Wow…is that ever taboo. Many women are much crueler than men and the tone of this movement has empowered women to be as defensive and violent as ever.
Don’t get me wrong. Women and men have the right to defend themselves in the face of aggression from anyone! But not all men are aggressive. And it’s not good for a woman to always feel like she is in defense mode. It is an option to set up your life so that you can live alone or with another woman who is peaceful. It’s true that many men have a self-control problem. I believe it’s because our society treats sex as though it’s bad. My personal observation is that women want to have sex more than men these days. Again, body issues have been perverted by the Church.
You are still worse off if you are a man or woman of color, a gay woman or man, or a transgender woman or man. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized. This too depends on your vibe and how you carry yourself. There are many exceptions.
My son expected to know math and be a football jock before he is respected as the artist he is, who is terrible at math, and who loves martial arts, not football.
He is told be nice to girls no matter how aggressive and sexual over-acting they are to him, even though HE wants to love a girl and be in a relationship before he has sex because I raised him to be loving to women and men. It’s up to mothers how they raise their son
If you keep telling yourself that you are a victim you will be. Your kids will be too. My son does have equal rights in our culture of bias toward males who are kind, loving, artistic, and brilliant.
Women will not get happier by joining with an unhappy, angry feminist party and they certainly won’t be empowered. Do you really believe that the world will get better by all the unhappiness and suffering you add to it?
No one will walk for my son. He will walk for himself if he feels like it. Each woman has the power to walk and advocate for herself if she learns by example. You have no right to tell women who they are, how they should feel, or what they should do. That makes you as bad as the patriarchal men you say you are resisting. And on that note, you prove the point that you become that which you resist and hate. We need a better strategy with regard to being a co-creator with all that is loving and good.
Lisa Townsend, 1/23/17