Essay; No Thank You. My Response to ~ Dina Leygerman, 2017 attitude about the Women’s March-#1

I have taken out what Dina Leygerman wrote previously.  Her writing can stand on its own and my writing can stand on its own.  Be mindful though, that I responded to her original piece and I’ll be adding thoughts and ideas as time moves forward.

NO THANK YOU with regard to Dina’s attitude and approach to feminism. The women who’ve gone before us can be our examples if we listen and learn. I’m a free woman and so are millions of others. No woman gave us our voice. We were born with it and we cultivate it ourselves. At most you could say God gave you your voice and your mother in utero.

There is no amount of pain and sacrifice that will increase what has already been given to us in abundance. These women were teachers who did what they wanted to do, from what they felt from inside of them. I doubt they would characterize what they did as some kind of holy sacrifice. Their example of feeling bold within themselves to say how they felt was where the power was not a sacrifice!

Because we watched and listened, observed and learned from them, we find ourselves where we are now, not because of them. They were not a necessary Jewish blood sacrifice in the spirit of the Old Testament whose values were perpetrated onto Jesus Christ. There is no necessary blood sacrifice!

We do nothing to earn our rights. We are born into these rights.  We reap the benefits of watching and reading about these women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for themselves and everyone like them.

There was so much jealousy, resentment, and disdain I read in the first article because many women have not freed their own souls and come to love themselves.  No one is on a pedestal. Being a student of change is not complacent. Some people prefer peace to resistance. Many people, not just women, are deluded about blood, guts, sacrifice, and pain is a good thing and is brainwashed and emotionally injured by religion and Christianity.  I was raised in a rigid religion!  I know what it feels like and what it takes to free myself from the clutches of family expectation and denial.  I know the feeling of being alone in a new place, knowing no one but feeling free because my family cannot control my heart, my mind, and my feelings! We do not have to live in a provincial world where we are constantly channeling our ancestors and being freaked out by what our small town or our family might think of us!  

 WE ARE equally loved and cared for in the eyes of the Universe.   WE ARE equal in that we each have a BODY, a MIND, and a SPIRIT.  WE ARE equal in that we have a certain amount of TIME on this planet to take our own inclinations and ideas and write, do, or create something new.  Turn your media off and tune into YOUR BODY, YOUR BREATH, YOUR BEATING HEART.  

Human beings are each different. Women are different than men. Repeat that over and over.  Yes, we each have male and female in us but we have very different brains.  That’ s all been studied.  Women who do not want to act like men or hate men do not deserve to be bashed by angry women. You do not embody love if you think you can tell another woman or another human being WHO THEY ARE. It’s evil and weak.

 Not all women feel victimized and dis-empowered because they know how to take care of themselves!  Women who get the education they need, do the hard work, make hard choices, stay focused and disciplined can excel beyond most men in every way. It’s up to the woman!!!

As far as our bodies, we have more access to contraceptives in the drug store than we ever have. We have more knowledge about how our bodies work than ever before.  Women still always do whatever they want physically. They find a way and always have. Be resourceful.  We have the choice to sit in our bodies and feel them, pay attention to how they process, pay attention to when our bodies clench and when they release.  We each sit in our body 24/7.  The government, the Church, nor the doctor sit in your body AT ALL.  You do.

A woman can learn martial arts!!! Men are attacked too.

As far as pregnancy, It is a choice to financially plan for all of that before you get pregnant. If you want to be in control of your body, control your pregnancies too!  Pregnancy happens in the body so take control of your pregnancy!  Breastfeeding in public is no different than going topless in public.  No matter what the reason, men don’t walk around without pants on, neither do women, and women don’t fully expose their breasts in public for any reason.  That’s our culture.  Most people are not opposed to breastfeeding in public. They’re opposed to nudity.  I’m not opposed to nudity at all but I love and know my body and accept every type of body on my work table.  Just cover up a bit.  It’s simple.

Men are objectified as much as women.

Men are cat-called on FB and in strip clubs. I just saw a FB friend extol her husband’s ass on FB. If a man did that he’d be called out and chastised. I tend to fawn over men’s bodies with my friends. I do it like I m appreciating art or a tree; not for lust.  My attraction to a man is based on emotional bond.

Men are sexualized too.  Men are judged for their weight too.  Men are told they need to appear young too and are sold products to do that.  The brand of car a man drives and how much money he has mattered more than his degree too to very superficial women.  Men are physically and emotionally abused by women.  Wow…is that ever taboo.  Many women are much crueler than men and the tone of this movement has empowered women to be as defensive and violent as ever.

Don’t get me wrong.  Women and men have the right to defend themselves in the face of aggression from anyone!   But not all men are aggressive.  And it’s not good for a woman to always feel like she is in defense mode.  It is an option to set up your life so that you can live alone or with another woman who is peaceful.  It’s true that many men have a self-control problem.  I believe it’s because our society treats sex as though it’s bad.  My personal observation is that women want to have sex more than men these days.  Again, body issues have been perverted by the Church.

You are still worse off if you are a man or woman of color, a gay woman or man, or a transgender woman or man. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized.  This too depends on your vibe and how you carry yourself. There are many exceptions.

My son expected to know math and be a football jock before he is respected as the artist he is, who is terrible at math, and who loves martial arts, not football.

He is told be nice to girls no matter how aggressive and sexual over-acting they are to him, even though HE wants to love a girl and be in a relationship before he has sex because I raised him to be loving to women and men. It’s up to mothers how they raise their son

If you keep telling yourself that you are a victim you will be.  Your kids will be too. My son does have equal rights in our culture of bias toward males who are kind, loving, artistic, and brilliant.

Women will not get happier by joining with an unhappy, angry feminist party and they certainly won’t be empowered.  Do you really believe that the world will get better by all the unhappiness and suffering you add to it?

No one will walk for my son. He will walk for himself if he feels like it. Each woman has the power to walk and advocate for herself if she learns by example. You have no right to tell women who they are, how they should feel, or what they should do. That makes you as bad as the patriarchal men you say you are resisting. And on that note, you prove the point that you become that which you resist and hateWe need a better strategy with regard to being a co-creator with all that is loving and good.

Lisa Townsend, 1/23/17

28 Replies to “Essay; No Thank You. My Response to ~ Dina Leygerman, 2017 attitude about the Women’s March-#1”

  1. Dina Leygerman’s “note/rant” was a written response to the woman who posted this statement:

    “I am not a “disgrace to women” because I don’t support the women’s march. I do not feel I am a “second class citizen” because I am a woman. I do not feel my voice is “not heard” because I am a woman. I do not feel I am not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman. I do not feel that I “don’t have control of my body or choices” because I am a woman. I do not feel like I am ” not respected or undermined” because I am a woman. I AM a woman. I can make my own choices. I can speak and be heard. I can VOTE. I can work if I want. I control my body. I can defend myself. I can defend my family. There is nothing stopping me to do anything in this world but MYSELF. I do not blame my circumstances or problems on anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don’t always get what we want. I take responsibility for myself. I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend. I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go over which is a personal choice. Quit blaming. Take responsibility. If you want to speak, do so. But do not expect for me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head and screaming profanities and bashing men. If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind matter, I will listen. But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit yours. Respect goes both ways. If you want to impress me, especially in regards to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in foreign countries that do not that the opportunity or means to have their voices heard. Saudi Arabia, women can’t drive, no rights and must always be covered. China and India, infanticide of baby girls. Afghanistan, unequal education rights. Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone. Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation. Pakistan, in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men’s crime. Guatemala, the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages. And that’s just a few examples. So when women get together in AMERICA and whine they don’t have equal rights and march in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, it’s like a vacation away that they have paid for to get there”.

  2. Hmmmm, One would of thought Obama, after the EIGHT years that he was in office, would have done something (ANYTHING) to help support women’s rights~!~! By the looks of all the Trump hate signs people were carrying at the Women’s Right Walk, it seems they are blaming him for all

    1. Obama was not a hater. He was a lover. However, he likely knew he would be scapegoated and skewered being a brown man in our system. But he’s been rewarded now for being treated like that; power and fame which he wanted.

  3. You are as ‘out to lunch’ as Dina. “Life is an illusion. It’s been proven by science.”
    Show the citation for that comment!

    1. Yes, I got an A in philosophy in college and know all about fallacies. I studied theology too which tries to rational the love of God, or Source. The human mind has limits sir. Reasoning is helpful but it does not transcend the unreasonable love of Source for human beings. That is empirical and is not a fallacy. That wiki link was painful for me to read as well. My reasoning is also intuitive. something that would make men far sexier if they’d get away from cold logic.

  4. I read that she is a 14-year old girl. I’d say that was a pretty good essay if she is indeed 14. Perhaps with a little encouragement she could one day be as great a critical thinker as YOU Lisa with your A in Philosophy and extensive studies in theology.

    1. That would be great. But first she needs to learn to stay centered in herself and realize she doesn’t and can’t live her life for other people.

  5. Lisa,

    would you consider reading your post as if the writers were reversed? Dina wrote from her point of view and you from yours. But switch the roles and see if you really practice the respect you speak of. Whether or not Dina has flawed reasoning your response seems to relish being vicious. What feelings have you not processed as you ask Dina to rethink her position? Why the hostility if you have the answers?

    1. I was actually going to do that at first thought. I felt she was viscious,as this whole GROUP MENTALITY is that we all must be shooting off the same personal desires. We must each be ourselves. I now know,eat I don’t want after seeing this womens RESISTANCE. We must ALLOW EACH other right to be who we are.

      1. It is one thing to say she doesn’t speak for you. It is another to go on a negative rant. Some of the things you offer as alternatives are true. But not everyone can pull them off, or at the same time or rate.

        My point: you could have made your case more graciously than you did. In the manner it was done it lost credibility to some extent.

        Your point (perhaps): you want to do what you want to do.

        I hope for more women coming together than tearing each other apart.


      2. How can you criticize only me for initially resisting her toxic ideas when much of the feminism displayed at the March was angry rant. Why are you singling me out.? I m actually a peaceful person but many women found Dinas toxic rant to be so off mark that I was right to respond. I ask that you stop talking to me as there is no positive support or tolerance. Feminism needs to calm itself diwn and be more inclusive or it eill lose half of the women on the planet. No more discussion with you. Thanks.

      3. Your response was not peaceful to me. “I could have been more gracious”. What is this Victorian England? Some aspects of this Feminism are monstrous and I won’t sit by and let them hijack what could be a powerful, POSITIVE, women’s movement. They’re too negative in this wave to make a difference and I will be blogging what I want.

  6. Why are you so angry? I think it would have been a little more convincing if you had supported your opinions with a little more analysis or perhaps facts.
    I disagree with Dina when it comes that women should see themselves as “victims.” But it is hard to deny women are not equal in the U.S. when there is a whole paragraph stating the facts by comparing the reality of women living in other countries:
    “Estonia allows parents to take up to three years of leave, fully paid for the first 435 days. United States has no policy requiring maternity leave.Singapore’s women feel safe walking alone at night. American women do not.New Zealand’s women have the smallest gender gap in wages, at 5.6%. United States’ pay gap is 20%.Iceland has the highest number of women CEOs, at 44%. United States is at 4.0%.The United States ranks at 45 for women’s equality. Behind Rwanda, Cuba, Philippines, Jamaica.”

    1. Her toxic victim ideas were going to go viral on FB? No. I had to initially act. I ve gotten many comments on here disagreeing with Dina so I need to start from scratch and write a new, positive affirmation of what I want as a woman. If many women agree, thats great. Or we can all write down what we want and there will be crossover. But no one can speak or act for someone else. Of course we don’t have equal power but there is a better way to turn this around. It is with open hand and hearts, peace and list very specifically what. ..we….want in the affirmative. Allowing, not resisting in anger. I speak for myself. We all do.

      1. Wait you are now saying “…of course we don’t have equal power?”

        Here is what you said in your initial post…
        “You are not equal. Your daughters are not equal. You are still systemically oppressed.
        >You keep telling yourself that and you will be forever and so will your kids if you raise them to believe they are victims. My son DOES have equal rights in our culture of bias toward males who are kind, loving, artistic, and brilliant.”

        Dina was speaking to power to exercise rights, which is not the same as merely having rights. You seem to conflate the two.

  7. My Responses to her are AFTER the right pointing arrow. I left space between what she said and what I said and WORDPRESS would not keep the space in. I will blog a new piece that comes ONLY from me and is organized.

  8. Lisaa, your points were spot on. I had my own reply but couldn’t convert my file appropriately. Don’t listen to the negativity. They obviously are incapable of seeing any other point of view other than their own.

    1. I mean going to do a positive blog today when I moved done with my patients. I mean also going to publicly set boundaries with regard to criticism. It must be civil and constructive or they also be blocked.

  9. It is up to mother’s to raise their sons to treat women respectfully, and I submit, children, girls and boys, should be treated the same and equally. That will bring about a change faster than most anything, I think.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: