One of the main comments I’ve heard from women patients in my office is, “I want to be alone, not married. I wish I was free and single like you.” Many women feel like prisoners in their marriage and their physical ailments and stress level are consequently very high. Thus, it is a healthcare issue.
I bet many married men say it to single guy friends too, but I wonder. I’ve heard men benefit far more from marriage than women do and suffer more in divorce. Most women thrive after divorce.
What are we looking at here?
Marriage is an institution where you’re seeking the sanction of church or state with a license and/or a ceremony but what are your true motivations for doing it? Maybe the institutions function like an agricultural stockade where animals are inspected, traded and sold. You’ve heard of animal husbandry. Well, when a woman gets married her mate is called her husband which makes her a reproductive animal in society’s view. So maybe marriage is primarily suited for only young women in their reproductive years who want to have children. And many young women who get married don’t necessarily want children. Then maybe they shouldn’t get married.
I think it’s time to retire these outmoded ideas regarding a woman’s relationship with her mate. Marriage isn’t always necessary. Balance of power between a woman and man needs to be discussed and kissed about. We can be monogamous with each other because we want to be, not because somebody said we should. It’s nobody’s business but the couple and is becoming outdated due to woman’s empowerment. It’s a good thing.
I agree with you. I’ve been with the same partner for almost 30 years, “married” for 26 of those years…marriage for many of us is just a piece of paper, what’s more important is the relationship, and this can be accomplished by living on your own and still having a healthy relationship with someone else, not necessarily under the same roof.
What I have learned too is that living with someone may cut your growth as a person. Marriage can be a prison for both men and women and has the potential to keep people in their “teenage” state for decades, depending on the other for financial stability and “permission” or, like in the case of some men, dependence on who prepares the food, cleans and makes their lives more nurturing…I do think if humankind survives these difficult times (environmentally, socially, financially and politically), we may need to “grow up” both as species and individuals and start new “institutions” and roles that reflect a healthier relationship with each other and the Earth. That may mean that marriage disappears altogether or its roles change dramatically 🙂
I m with you 100%