I read this article two days ago because I’m trying to figure something out.
My jaw was dropping open as I read it. I’m not sure I believe it but it is from “The Huffington Post” and the fellow sounded sincere. Then I discussed it with some women. They concur, they do believe men have actual “feelings” about their woman’s body that can be poetic, dramatic, and deep. The women don’t understand it or necessarily believe it either, but they do believe men have feelings too. But during sex? Because of our bodies?
My mind is blown. No man I’ve ever been with has expressed himself in a poetic way to me about my body. I’m not saying they haven’t conjectured it or that I’m not hot enough to have been with hot guys. I have! But they have not expressed themselves to me about how they feel. Why? I’ve gotten compliments about certain parts and of course the lusty chasing after me and wanting intimacy which a woman assumes means, the man is into her.
We call some of this lustiness from men objectification of women. It’s not really fair is it. If we’re straight, we love a man to love us. We need a man to take care of business. But why is feeling emotional and lusting after a woman’s body objectification when it’s nature? The men probably call it art…or love, or passion. If they do not feel passionate about a woman’s body, then what? Maybe they are gay or just not that into her, or have a different kind of brain that changes their libido…like high functioning autistic men.
It’s called objectification if the guy doesn’t care what you think or how you feel. I care more about how a man thinks and feels (and acts) than how he looks. In fact, his mind is what absolutely turns me on, far more than his body. I don’t know how many women are like me. His tone of voice and the timbre of his voice is the other turn on. I do believe most women are like that regarding a man’s voice. I think our brains are helping us pick the right man to be the father of our children when we’re young. After 50, that all changes. But continuing on about men’s feelings.
The author writes, “When a man is having sex, there’s a rush of emotions. When he sees a beautiful woman underneath him, or a beautiful woman on top of him, he gets lost in his sensations.”
I didn’t get the memo. I really didn’t.
He goes on to say, “Most of the time, the minute he’s released he realizes what he’s said. Then he thinks, “Oh my god, what did I say? I can’t believe I said all those things. I don’t really feel those things. I can’t believe I told her how much I love her, and how much I want to be with her!”
WHAT? Now, your fellow didn’t actually say this, but his “way” and his thoughts did, is what this author is saying. Well, how about that. I am certainly in a dark forest here guys. I wonder how many other women are?
The author finally says, “Our real feelings come out after the sex. I want you to remember that. I’d like you to pass along this blog to every single woman you know out there. Call it ‘dating insurance’. Make sure he has feelings for you after sex — before you commit your heart.”
I mean…where does it end? Is this guy high or is this true to the men out there? The mystery of it all.