It’s not very sexy is it…that word. It sounds very serious to me. It doesn’t matter how it sounds though because it’s an inevitable part of life.
Most of us like to have fun. Life is fraught with enough negative media, break-ups, death, grovelling for money and head banging over college exams and getting along with professors. It’s important to take breaks, go for walks, have some tea, dance, listen to music that makes you happy and want to move. I do all of those things to be happy in the midst of challenges, which will frankly, never end until we’re done with this life.
But there is another kind of growth. The kind where your heart is involved, reasonably so, but your mind assesses the situation and there is doubt. We make a very big deal in our culture about agreement, affinity, and a meeting of the minds. We’ve all been in enough relationships to know that you are never going to agree 100% on everything when you are mated or in a close friendship. This is one of the biggest challenges in life and the one that precipitates the most growth for my soul. It also causes the most angst. I think that is sexy but that’s because I’m a soulful woman.
Destiny plays a hand here. What lessons did you come to learn as a soul? What do you need to push through? Can you feel that certain people are good for you to be around and others are not? That is the case. “That’s NOT the kind of person I need to learn anything from!” If you can say that right away about someone, there ya have it! But with others, it’s not so simple. You might not agree with them many times but you love them and you have no idea why. I think it’s a gift.
If you’ve ever loved someone who is very different from you or at a very different place in their life, it feels mysterious. I wonder why I’m drawn to that person. I really don’t have a lot in common but just some. Maybe we have things in common that we don’t even know about yet. But what is superficial?; Political party, the past, and how much money we make as long as it’s enough to live or thrive as the case may be, style, culture. So don’t discuss the superficial things then.
What is important is whether or not our hearts are open and we care for people. Do we have faith in something eternal or at least something bigger than ourselves? Do we take care of and love our bodies (health)? Do we abide by the law? Do we want to improve our minds? I would say these are foundation issues in friendship and love.
I have lost all of the mates I’ve had so much in common with; either through divorce or death equally. That’s not what keeps people together. I believe it’s destiny and love that is the glue. Then I just have to roll with it because everyone has a choice in these matters.