Size Bias. (A snippet from my book “Healer”)

“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…”-J.K. Rowling

 

Thin privilege means you’ve proven that you have control over your appetites and just live a healthy good life.  If you force yourself, in any manner possible, to be thin, you have the privilege of hovering over others who are not thin and believing you’re better than them because you CONTROL your life, your mind, and your body size at all costs to gain advantage in every way.  What society and media has done is cover over their addiction to money, sex, fancy houses, food, drugs, etc., because they have no connection to Source/spirituality.  They are using having a thin body as the token for being “in control” of themselves.  However, if you dig a little deeper in thin, rich people’s lives, you’ll see all kinds of things out of control that they are hiding.  They’re playing the superficial game and it will at some point, come tumbling down.  No one on this planet is immune to control issues.  And no one has the right to assert that they are better or of more value on the planet because they can appear to be.  All the world’s a stage and they are certainly the players.  So what they assert is that anyone who is thick, for whatever reason, doesn’t matter as much, is not “in control” of themselves, should not make as much money, and are below the thin people in every way.  Right.  I don’t think so.  Things are changing now.

 

I’ve already achieved two of my dreams; having a child, and having my own healing practice.  I’m convinced, and I’ve heard firsthand accounts from those who have been heavy and are now thin, of the fact that when a woman loses weight, her value and amount of “attention and affirmation” go up astronomically.  Thin privilege is real.  Some guys say it doesn’t matter when they’re feeling all warm in their heart.  But that’s only 1/8 of the time that they’re feeling warm in their heart.  The rest of the time they’re a stray dog looking for a b….. To hump.  Then it matters!  The energy workers say that fat cells hold the vibration of love in a more grounded way than thin/toned women.  Thin, toned women function to easily fulfill the sexual appetite of men or women mostly, in my opinion.  Let’s face it.  Sex can go quicker, is more intense, you can move better and it’s all pretty animalistic when you’re small.  Thick people have great sex too.  I’m not asserting we don’t.  But it takes longer.  The men get their grounding through the woman, use her, and throw her-sort of like a dementor in Harry Potter when they can get it quickly.  Fat women are self-contained and ground themselves with love through their thickness.  The weight pulls on gravity which helps us center our energy like a magnet.  It’s just a theory.  My son said to me, “It seems like fat people are happier Mom”.  Lol.  Maybe we’re calmer, less stressed out because we aren’t competing so much.  I don’t know.

It’s a diabolical fact in our society that fat people are treated like lepers.  It’s because of patriarchy and Capitalism.  Fat women are offensive to patriarchal men and women.  We’re paid less, viewed as lazy or stupid, unhealthy, an insurance risk, and not touched as much.  My ex-husband asked me to lose weight “for him”.  Unbelievable.    The whole notion is so incredibly nauseating at how superficial and conditional people are in their acceptance of others.  One of my old friends lost a TON of weight (she was bigger than me), and she seems most unhappy now that she’s thin.  Sure, physically it’s easier to move, but now she’s realizing what she was hiding from when she was overweight and I think it’s getting to her.  She was hiding from superficial bullshit!  The same thing happened to my older sister.  It’s obvious to me that it’s too easy for women to lose themselves in relationships, others, their kids, their community and ignore their body and their needs.  It’s too easy for men to lose themselves in sex, toys, money, and indulgence.  It turns a man on when a woman loves herself, knows her own mind and needs and loves her body no matter what size it is.  I’ve been all sizes in my life.  While I’ve been a Mom, I’ve felt very comfy in a thicker body.  But now that my son is grown and I want to zip around from 50-95 years old, I think my bones will hold up better if I lighten the load.  That said, I’m not going to parade around a different size body like it’s a trophy which degrades those that choose to stay in a thicker body!  To each his own.

For me, I respect a man so much if he can control any of his appetites and learn to spend time with a woman and love a woman in a relationship.  If he can’t, I don’t respect him, no matter how many degrees, money and accolades he has.  Men are going to have to face the fact that unless they can bond monogamously with the woman that really loves and digs him, he’s a failure in societies eyes.  We could call that the Tiger Woods syndrome.  He’s a world class golfer, yes,   intelligent and successful, yes. But he cheated on his wife.  That makes him a loser, not a winner.

The same is not true for women.  The opposite is true.  Single, older women who have their own money are respected and looked up to by everyone.  The reason for this is another book.

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