The Paperback of “Healer” is Printed and Available for Sale on Amazon along with the Kindle E-book.

Healers heal themselves, they don’t heal others. We can share our work with others though so they can be about taking care of themselves also. Healers are authentic, living examples of how we can step out of our subconscious imprinting from parents, family, and provincial upbringing to create our conscious mind and live a truly free life of our choosing. We also know how to access the information in our unconscious mind through the dream state. The unconscious mind transcends intellect, brings forward intuition and allows it to MANIFEST in physical! The information in the dream state, where there is no thinking, is available to everyone.

Making Love Vs. Just…Doing It.

I am very intuitive with my body and I believe most women are as well. Now that I’m dating again, I’m seeing that I set the tone for how things are going to proceed physically. That’s because it’s incredibly taboo for a man to force the situation. You really need our permission and to know we’re relaxed in order for you to be successful. We know that. It’s actually a little bit of pressure on the woman because as they say; “Women give sex to get a relationship and men give a relationship in order to get sex”. We have to assess you and figure out how much relationship you can stomach before we give in to sex. Man is that tricky because every guy has a different threshold of relationship skill and patience. We’re thinking that way while you’re thinking, “How can I get her to have sex with me now?” We know you’re thinking that. I don’t judge it. I feel it’s the way men’s brains are programmed, just like women are programmed to bond and we need to accept it about you. Neither of us is better than the other one.

That’s a little bit of a generalization but most women care about bonding, feelings, and a relationship in equal ratio with men caring about sex. The women who don’t remind me of Samantha Jones on “Sex and The City”. She’s pretty much masculinized in a feminine outfit on that show. That’s what happens when women adopt values that are patriarchal in nature and highly attributable to men. They want no bonding and nothing to do with a relationship. If a guy even asks to see her again or wants to stay over she gets upset. Yes, men want some relationship and she doesn’t even want that! I’m wondering if women are actually moving more toward that now?

As a woman, I feel like it’s important for men to know that hardly any woman on the planet just wants to fuck. We want to make love! Sadly, many women have given up and lead desperate lives in a fallow garden of never having sex the way they need it if they are with a man. It’s because the women won’t take it upon themselves to teach you what to do for them by doing it to you. If you don’t pay attention and learn something from her cues, how she’s touching, what her body is doing, and a bunch of other stuff, you won’t keep her. She will either put on layers and stop taking care of herself because she needs your money, cheat on you, or divorce you. Women need to let you know what they want, how they want to be made love to by how she touches you! I’m sorry, but men don’t know squat. It’s not in your nature! Club hands.

So, that’s what I’m doing with my man right now. It’s very cute and will likely be a long road, but he seems like a good student. And on the other end, I’m paying attention to his sexual energy as well which tells me everything about a guy and letting him set that tone. It’s a cooperative effort. Women and men are very different and need to listen to each other and be true to what they want while learning from the other person.

Here’s to everyone making more Love baby! Love your own body, love your partner’s body and let them know by how you touch them and speak to them.

 

Kiss Me

People Are Who They Are

One of the things I think we all know as an adult is that you can’t change anyone. But it’s funny that we still try. I’m still single, not even a boyfriend and I’d say I’m content this way for now. However, I still have men DM’ing me quite often in all of the social media boxes, trying to get me to do their bidding, pay attention, throw them a bone, give them what they want and generally flirt. Out of fifteen, maybe I’ll be a bit interested in one.

I’ve experienced this over and over with men; even the ones that love me just as I am. In my line of work we call it offloading or projecting. Over and over, even the nice guys with a genuine heart want me to be what they need me to be. Very rarely are they interested in who I am, what I care about, and how I feel. The last fellow I dated said that I should stop looking so pretty and then I wouldn’t get bothered so much going on my walk three times around the block. What’s next? A burka? I don’t even wear much makeup and hardly spend any money on clothes! I just am who I am and I told him as much. He didn’t care about me; he was just being the typical territorial guy because we had sex. He got all hot on me too quickly and couldn’t keep it together. I was too much woman for this guy and he’s gone, not leaving me happy if you know what I mean. He left me in the dust as all the insecure men do.

I’m secure, stable, smart and I take care of myself. That’s just too much to handle for a man that needs a woman made of clay who he can mold or who will mold herself to him or fake an orgasm. I am who I am. I’ll remain alone before I change for anyone or fake an orgasm to shore up a man’s ego. Women do that all the time by the way. If guys read women’s feelings better or if women were more honest they’d know.

I have vices; for example, I say I’ll show up at a party I’m invited to and because I’m a writer and an introvert I’d rather stay home and so I do. I cancel. If a project is too challenging or I bit off more than I could chew, sometimes I don’t finish it.  Sometimes I say I’m just going to have one drink and I have three, although I almost always only have one. I feel incredibly emotionally detached from most human beings because I find them far too emotionally indulgent for my comfort level and lacking in inner discipline. I’d say all of these things about me are unattractive but I am who I am. I’m also a big flirt in person because I can be! It’s fun! I do not flirt on social media though. The men always initiate there.

Honesty with yourself and someone you’re dating is super important to keep your energy aligned. I find myself very distracted and unable to get my work done when too many emotions and sex have been flying around. I just need to be authentic with a man. Maybe some women expect men to change too, but can women ever really be themselves and be truly loved when men are who they are?

How Do Humans Turn Intuition into Knowing?

Turn off the outside disturbances, carve out silent alone time for yourself, workout, love your body, do yoga, and plan a vegetarian or vegan way of life. Make a list of friends who are loving and friends who are toxic and make some decisions. That’s a start!

What I observe about 98% of humans is that they pay FAR more attention to the media, material concerns, and others than they do to their own body, how it feels, what they are feeling emotionally and what direction their heading in. They live on automatic pilot and let their lives be dictated by everyone else. Under those conditions, you’re not going to hear or see anything! You’re sleepwalking through life and likely abusing some kind of drug. That’s the other thing is my brain is completely sober so I go through life extremely mindful.

Your real life doesn’t begin until you can feel your own body, feel your feelings, hear your thoughts, and become aware of your habits. If you care more about what others think of you than you do yourself, you’re off track.

other people

Personally, my intuition has always been spot on, ever since I was a young girl. That’s how I know something ahead of time. And then it happens…always. I absolutely KNOW what is going to happen and it’s always right, like the sun rising every morning. It’s very normal for me, and always has been, for me to get “a flash” like hearing something on the radio or seeing it visually as on a screen before it happens. Dean Radin, Ph.D. is a great researcher and writer on the paranormal and psychic knowing. He’s documented it fully. I like his book, “The Conscious Universe”.

The Conscious Universe

I’ve got one other post on this issue I believe. The other new piece here is that the biologists have found magnets in our brains. I believe, if they keep looking, they’ll find them all through the body in all of our cells. They don’t understand it yet, but I’ve felt the magnetism in the body in my office doing bodywork on my patients for 20 years so this is no news flash to me.

Magnets in the Human Brain Mapped

When I do Reiki I feel like my entire body is spinning in a magnetic vortex also. Back to the original question, how can anyone tune into their intuition and follow it? I’m not convinced I’m “gifted”. I believe it’s natural to all human beings. I don’t know what it’s like to walk around being someone else but I do observe other people walking around negative, doubtful, hyper-rational or hyper-emotional, and materialistic.

Pete Sanders, Jr. wrote a book called “You are Psychic”. I worked with him in Sedona, AZ when I lived there. He’s a trained scientist from MIT. He teaches classes on this empowerment.

You Are Psychic

 

Once you drop all of that, you’ll get the life you came into the body to live and it’s magnificent. Anything less is not worth living for…at all.

Keep trying and being honest, peeling those layers bit by bit until you’re living an authentic life. You can do it!

 

Inspiration Is Just Competition

“Sometimes being inspired by someone just means you want to compete with them. Competition is a bit of an illusion because there is plenty to go around and you can’t compare two people’s lives to each other. Thus there is no real competition. We’re all very different and have paid the piper different amounts based on our choices. Ultimately, we’re competing with a vision of who we want to be and who we really are, so be careful projecting that onto others. Just look in the mirror and be honest with yourself if you really want power over your life.”-Lisa Townsend (Me)

 

Woman on a mountain

We are our own best friend or our own worst enemy.

 

Beauty Bias

“You can’t judge a book by its cover,” my Dad said as he was backing out of the driveway of Grandma’s house (his mother). I remember sitting in the backseat of our old Buick in the 70’s as a little girl and this is one of the few things my father said off the cuff that sank into my little brain like a brick floating to the bottom of the lake.  Aren’t those odd moments when your mind picks up what someone teaches you and for some nebulous reason, you never forget it! While it’s happening, you can feel how heavy and solid their words are and you have no idea why.

For God’s sake, as an adult, I realize that so much of my father’s values didn’t square with his behavior, but sometimes it did. Is that incongruity, that double-dipping into our own psyche just part of being human?  He lusted after Barbara Eden right in front of us as children but we always thought it was funny because Mom looked very much like her, so that was ok.  He always paid the bills and went to work, ran for public office and attended church three times a week, but the hypocrisy was generally there in other ways.

This post isn’t about my father, but he and my mother both instilled in me, actually by a good example, that life was not about looks or climbing a social ladder and neither of them did it either. Sure, there were family secrets, but on this score, they rated high. They really taught me not to objectify myself, even though I was very pretty and talented from a young age.  Mom did some anyway, but Dad countered it, maybe as a kind of competition with her and his freedom training won the day with me. My mom did not get her way.

I recently just heard about beauty bias. That may sound lame but I don’t pay much attention to or take seriously, how people look. I take care of myself, have lost weight, and naturally look 40 even though I’m 55. I’m not trying to. I just live healthily. Now I am seriously treated differently by men and women. The men are coming after me more, even the ones in their twenties and the women are competing with me or maybe jealous and treating me worse.  They’re going to have a hard time hating me though because I’ve been to hell and back with men I love dying. Their pity and sympathy may counter their jealousy for a bit longer. I’m sure their conscience will twist and knot around them if they start to go into that dark tunnel. I’m so aware of how the percentages change based on social expectation. “Why is she doing so well when she’s been through what no normal person goes through?” , must be the question ringing in their heads.  I think it’s hilarious. Because they don’t have an answer, I’m treated a bit like a leper, a miscreant, a freak.

This post isn’t about them either. Beauty and intelligence bias which is seriously real and has been well-documented is repugnant to me and seriously foisted on those of us that have a plethora of both like a millstone around our necks. It’s just more superficial garbage from a culture that knows no bounds to objectification. My value system and my heart seriously care about most human beings and sees the world through spiritual eyes…because I want to; because I can. I haven’t absorbed the values of our larger society or our world. As my alcoholic sister say’s to me, “You’re a freak! Maybe she’s right which means I’m also a selfish bitch by her estimation. Never mind her. I know I’m neither of those things and I do love myself and the life I’ve chosen. The woman was born hating herself and her life and learned very little during the time she’s been given. There is no way my parents could have treated her worse than she’s treated herself and others.

This post isn’t about her either. It’s just amazing the masks we all have to wear to explain these outside layers. How does anyone really know who we are, including ourselves? Writers know that the books we write ARE judged by their covers and we’re told to spend plenty of time and money picking it out. It’s the magnet for people to buy the book. But how many people actually read the book? Maybe they just look at the cover.

My book is about how beauty bias objectification from men toward me has ruined every job I’ve ever been in and slowed down my progress to be taken seriously for my skill, ideas, and intelligence. I don’t think I’ll ever be healed from that shit until I’m dead but I’m sure not going to stop talking or writing even though people’s brains can barely listen to a word I, or others like me, say.

 

 

A Pretty Good Brownie

I had a very good brownie yesterday with the right level of height so that I was able to observe my trip pretty well. This was purely experimental as I am the kind of person that fully enjoys the sobriety of my conscious mind to do my work because I’m intelligent. There is no substitute for the satisfaction of figuring something out or learning a new skill, for me. It’s a big self-esteem boost.

If I were trying to escape my body or my life, weed would plumett my self-esteem. That was my first observation. The second was that I had a bit of paralysis. Not literally. I could move but my etheric body wanted to leave my physical body which pulls the qi that allows you to move, right up and out. I do that plenty when I sleep at night, I don’t want to feel that way during the day when I have work to do.

If you DO want to feel that way during the day you need therapy; body work, reiki, talk therapy; not medical marijuana. You’re in denial about your true feelings if you want to feel like that alot. That will kill you because THE BACKED UP EMOTIONS go into your cells. Pot can’t kill you, no, but constant denial of your feelings and an unbalanced life will. It also throws off your appetite and sleep.

I commanded my etheric body to stay one with my physical and it obeyed. Because I did, I was able to observe and remember my trip. It was like being in an airport; public and stupid, full of non-focused, chaotic energy that I feel is the bane of this planet. But what happened is that because I wasn’t interested in traveling in the public ethers, I went deeper into my physical cells. I love my body, as my readers know, so I tuned into that.

Markedly, I had no pain. My muscles usually ache because I walk and work out daily. That was marvelous. And today I’m in less pain as an after effect so it is very anti-inflammatory. My cells got excited the more relaxed I was. I heard and saw my spirit guides laughing at my internal awareness so that was fun. It erased all of my physical tension. That is possible with yoga and breathe work though too.

Well, I was out of it for a full four hours and the last hour just loopy. That’s four hours of my life I won’t get back. I was grateful for the body awareness but I can do that on my own. I was just neglecting to do it because my brain has been busy learning computer programming. Also, no one should drive while using! It’s no different than alcohol.

The last thing I have to say is there was nothing spiritual at all about a pot-induced trip. It’s just a drug affecting the brain. I am a spiritual person and have had many spiritual experiences. It’s altogether different because you’re conscious and use your free will. The spirit world is real if you open your heart.

The Cultural Meaning of the Shaming of Roseanne Barr

The so-called Populist revolt that ended in the earthquake election of Donald Trump has left the cultural and social foundations of America shaken to the core. This latest media storm around Barr is indicative of that. We’re all still in need of extra herbs or meds in light of how he and his people in Washington seem to be trying to take us down! It feels like anarchy to me. Parliamentarian Puritans (Democrats) vs. Royalist Monarchists (Republicans). Trump wants to take down our Democratic Republic that seeks to empower our pluralism and civil rights in America and turn it into what? That “what” is the problem and producing anxiety in our collective.

I’m from Chicago, NW Illinois, white middle class, a true Cubbie Blue Cubs fan and Democratic Yankee Puritan (Episcopal, Church of England). My entire upbringing was about integration of mostly black and white and exposure to any form of Christianity. My family was also a mix of Democrat and Republican. But the overriding tendency was tolerance of differences and civility. No violence. I was exposed to everything. I’m kind of a mix of African-American matriarchal tendency and White European patriarchy because my Mom’s family was matriarchal and my dad’s family was patriarchal. Just as I’ve had to straddle the cultural fence, most Americans do also. So when we perceive what’s going on in our culture, it’s with our particular bias, to be sure.

Roseanne Barr is a granddaughter of Jewish immigrants from Central Europe and Russia, the oldest of four children in a Jewish Salt Lake City, UT family.  Barr has stated, “Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning I was a Jew; Sunday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon, and Wednesday afternoon we were Mormons.” Barr doesn’t wear the fact that she’s Jewish on her sleeve, which completely changes how people might perceive her “joke” about Hitler and the cookies in the oven. That said, even though she is an award-winning comedian, nothing is funny about what she’s said lately. I didn’t know she was Jewish. She was deriding Hitler for the genocide of her own people and likely most of her ancestors from Europe and Russia. Her grandmother who was an orthodox Jew held the highest sway over her family. Trump likewise came from a family that for generations back, was extremely traumatized so that visions of royalty and kingship rule his psyche. When your ancestors fall far behind, something overly ambitious kicks in within the brain to compensate. That’s my theory.

Her show portrayed a culture that hails from Greater Appalachia, Tidewater, and the Deep South, referring to three of the regions of America discussed in Colin Woodard’s great book, “American Nations”. Greater Appalachia is Southern IL, most of Indiana, southern OH, WV, VA, KY, southern MO, part of OK, N. Texas, northern AR, TN, NC, northern MS, and northern AL. The Deep South is southern Texas, LA, and all states further south to FL. Tidewater’s history is the landed gentry who eventually betrayed the inhabitants of Greater Appalachia and the Deep South.  They are N.Carolina, Maryland, Virginia and Washinton D.C. Trump won all of those states in the election. Roseanne Barr supported Donald Trump! What is going on in America? Two years on and we still haven’t figured it out.

The truth is, the United States is an imperialist, colonized mish-mash of enslaved people. This country exists on the back of ALL cultures being enslaved by the Royalist Republicans. They then came to America as the Tidewater landed gentry in the South with their Royalist, Republican biased values and commenced with their brand of violent evil.

In Chapter 3, Founding Tidewater, Woodard says of the opposite side, The Yankee Puritans;

For the Norse, Anglo-Saxon, Dutch, and other Germanic tribes of northern Europe, “freedom” was a birthright of free peoples, which they considered themselves to be. Individuals might have differences in status and wealth but all were literally “born free.” All were equal before the law, and all had come into the world possessing “rights” that had to be mutually respected on the threat of banishment. Tribes had the right to rule themselves through assemblies like Iceland’s Althingi recognized as the world’s oldest parliament. Until the Norman invasion of 1066, the Anglo-Saxon tribes of England (Germans) had ruled themselves in this manner. After the invasion, the lords of Normandy France imposed manorial feudalism on England, but they never fully did away with the “free” institutions of the Anglo-Saxons and (Gael-Norse) Scots, which survived in village councils, English common law, and the House of Commons. It was this tradition the Puritans carried to Yankeedom. (MA, VT, NH, MA, NY, PA, IL, MI, WI, MN).

The Greek and Roman political philosophy embraced by Tidewater gentry of the southern U.S. assumed the opposite; most humans were born into bondage. (Republicanism) Liberty was something that was granted and was thus a privilege, not a right. Some people were permitted many liberties others had very few, and many had none at all…It was a philosophical divide with racial overtones and one that would later drive America’s nations into all-out war with one another. (The Civil War).”

Speaking of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln was an anomaly in the Republican Party of his time in many respects. His ancestry was neither royalty or landed gentry and Lincoln behaved more like an Independent than someone from either party. If there was anyone who straddled the political fence, it was Lincoln. Many times the Republicans like to claim him but in key ways, Lincoln’s behavior and values were from neither party. He was more Universal.

I’ve posted about this before, but we are country at war with our own subconscious mind and ancestral memory seeded in us, in utero from the ages of 0-5 by our parents who have inherited their minds from our ancestors and on it goes!! That is what is going on here. Our culture, our institutions, and our families are still dominated by the memory in our subconscious mind instead of by our actively chosen, adult,  conscious mind. Trump and Barr and many others are still playing out so much of what they’ve lost because of their wretched upbringing and have never regained because they don’t claim the right over their own souls to cut it off. Well, they may be trying, but the emotional struggle to love themselves is all that comes out of their mouths and on Twitter as they seem to fail at loving or tolerating anyone else; least of all themselves.

The meaning of the shaming of Roseanne Barr and Donald Trump is that the U.S. and it’s media is still largely Puritan, Yankee, Democratic and Christian in its values despite this Republican upsurge. If the Democrats can mobilize the apathetic base, it can be turned around in the next election and be more pluralistic. We are a young country, still deciding who we want to be when we grow up.

The Sacrifice Model Shores up Patriarchy

My last post was about men as subject, women as object and how that can pivot so that men are objectified as well under the paradigm of patriarchy.  That’s not something that most women are aware of. First, let me remind my readers that neither male nor female dominance in a civilization is ideal. We came from 5000 years of matriarchy which preceded patriarchy and now we are shifting again. My hope is that we don’t go back to the mistakes and abuses of matriarchy just because it’s in our collective unconscious ancestral memory. I believe women have evolved ahead of men but men have come a long way as well in 5000 years. The idea here is for humanity and the earth to move into our conscious minds, or reasonable mind engendered by the balance between intuition and rationality. That will then fill our households, the foundation of our societies the world over.

Gender equity or balance of power will lead us to less militarism, more peace, more great sex, and more love. Yes, I’m an idealist but some partners are succeeding. It occurred to me yesterday that when you have the subject-object system going, which is what patriarchy thrives on, both subject and object, both men and women are sacrificed for the profit of the 1% on the planet, even though patriarchy makes it appear as though men are in charge. They aren’t really. They only have what women let them have. Imagine for a moment the suggestion of “Lysistrata” coming to pass?

Lysistrata is a Greek comedy written by Aristophanes about women boycotting sex with men in order to quell the endless wars of that age. What if today, women all over the planet found the wherewithal to stop making porn videos altogether, stopped having sex with their husbands/boyfriends/partners, and halted reproduction until men got the message of respecting our humanity and not just looking to us for sex and food attention but as a friend and a mate? Maybe this is what lesbians wish would happen. There is a whole group of feminists that believe that until women take full charge of their body and stop sharing it with men, women don’t stand a chance of true liberation. I just ponder that in my circumstantial celibacy. I will say that it’s truly empowering to live alone and be in full charge of my body and my physical energy as a female. I’ve become fully aware of how much all of the men I’ve known have taken sex and food from me and how little they’ve truly given back. It’s not an awareness I relish and I’m certainly not saying that I believe all men do that.

Subjects are sacrificed to the 1% who in turn are brainwashed or socially engineered to sacrifice the objects. Men are “subjected” to the dictates of family, state, church, and corporation and sacrificed and rewarded for handing over the control of their heart and mind to that. That’s how Trump got elected in provincial, small-town America which is trapped in it’s subconscious, family-programmed mind!

Part of the purpose of the social engineering is to objectify and eat women for breakfast. Women are to be consumed; sexual consumption and food consumption. Men are not taught to see us as full human beings with a mind and heart but to overlook all of that, no matter how smart or successful we are in order to objectify and subsume us; no matter what. Her provision of children is only a mask for the man that makes him appear more socially acceptable to all of the institutions listed above. Let’s not forget that he is not acting from a whole heart and mind. If he did, he would be a damned artist or poet, drugged in a psych ward and living on the fringes.  We can’t have that frightful prospect, can we? I’m half kidding.

There are millions of men and women who are free spirits and see through the charade of civilization though and we own houses, pay our bills and mow the lawn. It does take guts to join us though and we’re usually not rich.

So you see the subject-object title is interchangeable. The subjects are also brought to be objects for the elite; especially in war (the honored dead, mostly male), in sports, and in corporate life. It’s incumbent on men and women to jump out of the subject-object roles and live a free life.

my-kite-1@2x

“My Kite” by Paige Bradley

 

All Who Wander Are Not Lost

Have you heard that phrase before? This study finds that women and men navigate differently. Check out the results of this study.

The writer of the results doesn’t state that woman’s intuition, which is half of all reasoning ability, is in play here but I can tell you it is. I’m a woman. I know how I navigate and it sure as heck isn’t to get there quicker! I want to wander to see what I stumble onto. It’s fun! I like to see new things in the world. A new route is great fun.

I live just about every day of my life predominantly in this mode yet the rational side of my brain is engaged enough for me to enjoy computer programming and my work in healthcare. I succeed and pay the bills so my way works.

I navigate my writing, especially prose, in wander mode as well and I’m sure not lost, yet I have no plan. That’s vital to be inspired and truly creative. No recipes used! We, women know our muses, our physical instincts, our senses, the vibes coming from the earth and weather.

We live in that soup 24/7 and the women who want to be more like men, what’s the matter with you? I’m guessing her mother didn’t model loving her body and sex as a woman. In no way are we supposed to follow what men want. That’s why patriarchy has gotten away with so much.

I love being a woman and navigating the dark crevices of my existence. That is in fact, how meaning in life is found; by wandering using your intuition.

Subject-Object in Life

Remember diagraming those sentences in school? Subject, verb, object. “What is the subject of the sentence and how does it act (the verb) on the object?”

There is much hoopla made of women being sexually objectified but when these issues come up, I always try to think about it intuitionally as well as rationally because it’s so easy to stereotype based on gender.

It is widely observed that males do tend to be the subject of most movies, books, sporting events, commercials, anchors on the news, utility companies, Presidents, and CEOs. The male perception of things does, in fact, run the planet. That’s patriarchy.

But does that mean that men are never objectified? Think about the system of patriarchy a second. Patriarchy is about usage and consumption. It’s about money, power, death, and oppression, control and victory at any cost. There isn’t much good about it. I’d say there is nothing good about it. In a system such as that, militarism, monetary debt, toxic waste, pathological lying, corrupt government leaders and religion are rife. It doesn’t do much good on the planet. But both women and men shore up patriarchy by accepting their roles of subject-object and rarely reversing them. They could reverse them, or in a loving partnership, both of them are subjects and never objects. So, in that scenario, isn’t it reasonable to assume that:

“Patriarchy eats everything”; Subject/verb/object. Men are consumed as well by the monster. They, in turn, are taught and expected to consume woman.

No one escapes and no one wins really. That means men are objectified too by the system as being set up over and over again as the subject of every last, damn, thing. They are, after all, most of the millions dead from two World Wars. Just watch TV with pen and paper and make two columns Male/Female and make a vertical slash every time you see a woman, every time you see a man and watch the men’s column pile up. That’s not a good thing for men or for women. It’s unbalanced! I personally wouldn’t want all that focus. It’s too much pressure. When women are portrayed on TV they are rarely if ever portrayed as subjects or the ones acting first in the sentence. If they are it’s as a conniving wench, a bitch, a sweet mother or a nurse. Patriarchy doesn’t allow for women to be portrayed as a strong subject; a female lead. Hillary Clinton did that and she was crucified. The message, “Women, don’t ever try to be the subject of the sentence in the United States of America.”

I’ve had too many men say to me, “You just want attention.” My response, “No, I’d just like to be the subject, not the object being acted upon by you most of the time.” But somehow, I doubt most women even know they’re the object being acted upon. They take it for granted that it is their role because they follow system dictates unconsciously. The media and the church do the brainwashing.

For the first time in my life, living in the house I own, I am the subject of my own life and I am able to give focus and make each of my patients that come here the subject in my office. I started out my physical life as a child being extremely objectified by my parents, then school, then college, then my parents literally threw me to a Chicago curb when I was eighteen like so much garbage, then men, on and on for half of my life. Women are not seen or known or even wanting to be known by anyone as people! But are men either? They have that subject role to carry around all the time like a rock in a backpack. Not even our other women friends who are too busy being objectified by their families that define them, want to spend time with me.

Well, in my house, “The patient receives therapy from me.” Subject/verb/object. I guess I’m a pronoun in my office. That’s just fine because I’m the subject of my life the rest of the time because I have important work to do and I’m doing it. I’m on this planet to act, not be acted upon and that’s not selfish. It’s what we all need to do; act on behalf of ourselves in our own lives so we can unconditionally give to one another.