The Paperback of “Healer” is Printed and Available for Sale on Amazon along with the Kindle E-book.

Healers heal themselves, they don’t heal others. We can share our work with others though so they can be about taking care of themselves also. Healers are authentic, living examples of how you can step out of your subconscious imprinting from parents, family, and provincial upbringing to create your conscious mind and live a truly free life of your choosing. We also know how to access the information in our unconscious mind through the dream state. The unconscious mind transcends intellect, brings forward intuition and allows it to MANIFEST in physical! The information in the dream state, where there is no thinking, is available to everyone.

Inspiration Is Just Competition

“Sometimes being inspired by someone just means you want to compete with them. Competition is a bit of an illusion because there is plenty to go around and you can’t compare two people’s lives to each other. Thus there is no real competition. We’re all very different and have paid the piper different amounts based on our choices. Ultimately, we’re competing with a vision of who we want to be and who we really are, so be careful projecting that onto others. Just look in the mirror and be honest with yourself if you really want power over your life.”-Lisa Townsend (Me)

 

Woman on a mountain

We are our own best friend or our own worst enemy.

 

Beauty Bias

“You can’t judge a book by its cover,” my Dad said as he was backing out of the driveway of Grandma’s house (his mother). I remember sitting in the backseat of our old Buick in the 70’s as a little girl and this is one of the few things my father said off the cuff that sank into my little brain like a brick floating to the bottom of the lake.  Aren’t those odd moments when your mind picks up what someone teaches you and for some nebulous reason, you never forget it! While it’s happening, you can feel how heavy and solid their words are and you have no idea why.

For God’s sake, as an adult, I realize that so much of my father’s values didn’t square with his behavior, but sometimes it did. Is that incongruity, that double-dipping into our own psyche just part of being human?  He lusted after Barbara Eden right in front of us as children but we always thought it was funny because Mom looked very much like her, so that was ok.  He always paid the bills and went to work, ran for public office and attended church three times a week, but the hypocrisy was generally there in other ways.

This post isn’t about my father, but he and my mother both instilled in me, actually by a good example, that life was not about looks or climbing a social ladder and neither of them did it either. Sure, there were family secrets, but on this score, they rated high. They really taught me not to objectify myself, even though I was very pretty and talented from a young age.  Mom did some anyway, but Dad countered it, maybe as a kind of competition with her and his freedom training won the day with me. My mom did not get her way.

I recently just heard about beauty bias. That may sound lame but I don’t pay much attention to or take seriously, how people look. I take care of myself, have lost weight, and naturally look 40 even though I’m 55. I’m not trying to. I just live healthily. Now I am seriously treated differently by men and women. The men are coming after me more, even the ones in their twenties and the women are competing with me or maybe jealous and treating me worse.  They’re going to have a hard time hating me though because I’ve been to hell and back with men I love dying. Their pity and sympathy may counter their jealousy for a bit longer. I’m sure their conscience will twist and knot around them if they start to go into that dark tunnel. I’m so aware of how the percentages change based on social expectation. “Why is she doing so well when she’s been through what no normal person goes through?” , must be the question ringing in their heads.  I think it’s hilarious. Because they don’t have an answer, I’m treated a bit like a leper, a miscreant, a freak.

This post isn’t about them either. Beauty and intelligence bias which is seriously real and has been well-documented is repugnant to me and seriously foisted on those of us that have a plethora of both like a millstone around our necks. It’s just more superficial garbage from a culture that knows no bounds to objectification. My value system and my heart seriously care about most human beings and sees the world through spiritual eyes…because I want to; because I can. I haven’t absorbed the values of our larger society or our world. As my alcoholic sister say’s to me, “You’re a freak! Maybe she’s right which means I’m also a selfish bitch by her estimation. Never mind her. I know I’m neither of those things and I do love myself and the life I’ve chosen. The woman was born hating herself and her life and learned very little during the time she’s been given. There is no way my parents could have treated her worse than she’s treated herself and others.

This post isn’t about her either. It’s just amazing the masks we all have to wear to explain these outside layers. How does anyone really know who we are, including ourselves? Writers know that the books we write ARE judged by their covers and we’re told to spend plenty of time and money picking it out. It’s the magnet for people to buy the book. But how many people actually read the book? Maybe they just look at the cover.

My book is about how beauty bias objectification from men toward me has ruined every job I’ve ever been in and slowed down my progress to be taken seriously for my skill, ideas, and intelligence. I don’t think I’ll ever be healed from that shit until I’m dead but I’m sure not going to stop talking or writing even though people’s brains can barely listen to a word I, or others like me, say.

 

 

A Pretty Good Brownie

I had a very good brownie yesterday with the right level of height so that I was able to observe my trip pretty well. This was purely experimental as I am the kind of person that fully enjoys the sobriety of my conscious mind to do my work because I’m intelligent. There is no substitute for the satisfaction of figuring something out or learning a new skill, for me. It’s a big self-esteem boost.

If I were trying to escape my body or my life, weed would plumett my self-esteem. That was my first observation. The second was that I had a bit of paralysis. Not literally. I could move but my etheric body wanted to leave my physical body which pulls the qi that allows you to move, right up and out. I do that plenty when I sleep at night, I don’t want to feel that way during the day when I have work to do.

If you DO want to feel that way during the day you need therapy; body work, reiki, talk therapy; not medical marijuana. You’re in denial about your true feelings if you want to feel like that alot. That will kill you because THE BACKED UP EMOTIONS go into your cells. Pot can’t kill you, no, but constant denial of your feelings and an unbalanced life will. It also throws off your appetite and sleep.

I commanded my etheric body to stay one with my physical and it obeyed. Because I did, I was able to observe and remember my trip. It was like being in an airport; public and stupid, full of non-focused, chaotic energy that I feel is the bane of this planet. But what happened is that because I wasn’t interested in traveling in the public ethers, I went deeper into my physical cells. I love my body, as my readers know, so I tuned into that.

Markedly, I had no pain. My muscles usually ache because I walk and work out daily. That was marvelous. And today I’m in less pain as an after effect so it is very anti-inflammatory. My cells got excited the more relaxed I was. I heard and saw my spirit guides laughing at my internal awareness so that was fun. It erased all of my physical tension. That is possible with yoga and breathe work though too.

Well, I was out of it for a full four hours and the last hour just loopy. That’s four hours of my life I won’t get back. I was grateful for the body awareness but I can do that on my own. I was just neglecting to do it because my brain has been busy learning computer programming. Also, no one should drive while using! It’s no different than alcohol.

The last thing I have to say is there was nothing spiritual at all about a pot induced trip. It’s just a drug affecting the brain. I am a spiritual person and have had many spiritual experiences. It’s altogether different because you’re conscious and use your free will. The spirit world is real. God, the angels, spirit guides, Christ, all there to converse if you open your heart. I recommend approaching it only with all of your faculties and respect rather than hitchhiking and seeing who will pick you up. It’s not safe.

I don’t think I’ll be eating another brownie. I love my conscious life too much.

The Cultural Meaning of the Shaming of Roseanne Barr

The so-called Populist revolt that ended in the earthquake election of Donald Trump has left the cultural and social foundations of America shaken to the core. This latest media storm around Barr is indicative of that. We’re all still in need of extra herbs or meds in light of how he and his people in Washington seem to be trying to take us down! It feels like anarchy to me. Parliamentarian Puritans (Democrats) vs. Royalist Monarchists (Republicans). Trump wants to take down our Democratic Republic that seeks to empower our pluralism and civil rights in America and turn it into what? That “what” is the problem and producing anxiety in our collective.

I’m from Chicago, NW Illinois, white middle class, a true Cubbie Blue Cubs fan and Democratic Yankee Puritan (Episcopal, Church of England). My entire upbringing was about integration of mostly black and white and exposure to any form of Christianity. My family was also a mix of Democrat and Republican. But the overriding tendency was tolerance of differences and civility. No violence. I was exposed to everything. I’m kind of a mix of African-American matriarchal tendency and White European patriarchy because my Mom’s family was matriarchal and my dad’s family was patriarchal. Just as I’ve had to straddle the cultural fence, most Americans do also. So when we perceive what’s going on in our culture, it’s with our particular bias, to be sure.

Roseanne Barr is a granddaughter of Jewish immigrants from Central Europe and Russia, the oldest of four children in a Jewish Salt Lake City, UT family.  Barr has stated, “Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning I was a Jew; Sunday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon, and Wednesday afternoon we were Mormons.” Barr doesn’t wear the fact that she’s Jewish on her sleeve, which completely changes how people might perceive her “joke” about Hitler and the cookies in the oven. That said, even though she is an award-winning comedian, nothing is funny about what she’s said lately. I didn’t know she was Jewish. She was deriding Hitler for the genocide of her own people and likely most of her ancestors from Europe and Russia. Her grandmother who was an orthodox Jew held the highest sway over her family. Trump likewise came from a family that for generations back, was extremely traumatized so that visions of royalty and kingship rule his psyche. When your ancestors fall far behind, something overly ambitious kicks in within the brain to compensate. That’s my theory.

Her show portrayed a culture that hails from Greater Appalachia, Tidewater, and the Deep South, referring to three of the regions of America discussed in Colin Woodard’s great book, “American Nations”. Greater Appalachia is Southern IL, most of Indiana, southern OH, WV, VA, KY, southern MO, part of OK, N. Texas, northern AR, TN, NC, northern MS, and northern AL. The Deep South is southern Texas, LA, and all states further south to FL. Tidewater’s history is the landed gentry who eventually betrayed the inhabitants of Greater Appalachia and the Deep South.  They are N.Carolina, Maryland, Virginia and Washinton D.C. Trump won all of those states in the election. Roseanne Barr supported Donald Trump! What is going on in America? Two years on and we still haven’t figured it out.

The truth is, the United States is an imperialist, colonized mish-mash of enslaved people. This country exists on the back of ALL cultures being enslaved by the Royalist Republicans. They then came to America as the Tidewater landed gentry in the South with their Royalist, Republican biased values and commenced with their brand of violent evil.

In Chapter 3, Founding Tidewater, Woodard says of the opposite side, The Yankee Puritans;

For the Norse, Anglo-Saxon, Dutch, and other Germanic tribes of northern Europe, “freedom” was a birthright of free peoples, which they considered themselves to be. Individuals might have differences in status and wealth but all were literally “born free.” All were equal before the law, and all had come into the world possessing “rights” that had to be mutually respected on the threat of banishment. Tribes had the right to rule themselves through assemblies like Iceland’s Althingi recognized as the world’s oldest parliament. Until the Norman invasion of 1066, the Anglo-Saxon tribes of England (Germans) had ruled themselves in this manner. After the invasion, the lords of Normandy France imposed manorial feudalism on England, but they never fully did away with the “free” institutions of the Anglo-Saxons and (Gael-Norse) Scots, which survived in village councils, English common law, and the House of Commons. It was this tradition the Puritans carried to Yankeedom. (MA, VT, NH, MA, NY, PA, IL, MI, WI, MN).

The Greek and Roman political philosophy embraced by Tidewater gentry of the southern U.S. assumed the opposite; most humans were born into bondage. (Republicanism) Liberty was something that was granted and was thus a privilege, not a right. Some people were permitted many liberties others had very few, and many had none at all…It was a philosophical divide with racial overtones and one that would later drive America’s nations into all-out war with one another. (The Civil War).”

Speaking of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln was an anomaly in the Republican Party of his time in many respects. His ancestry was neither royalty or landed gentry and Lincoln behaved more like an Independent than someone from either party. If there was anyone who straddled the political fence, it was Lincoln. Many times the Republicans like to claim him but in key ways, Lincoln’s behavior and values were from neither party. He was more Universal.

I’ve posted about this before, but we are country at war with our own subconscious mind and ancestral memory seeded in us, in utero from the ages of 0-5 by our parents who have inherited their minds from our ancestors and on it goes!! That is what is going on here. Our culture, our institutions, and our families are still dominated by the memory in our subconscious mind instead of by our actively chosen, adult,  conscious mind. Trump and Barr and many others are still playing out so much of what they’ve lost because of their wretched upbringing and have never regained because they don’t claim the right over their own souls to cut it off. Well, they may be trying, but the emotional struggle to love themselves is all that comes out of their mouths and on Twitter as they seem to fail at loving or tolerating anyone else; least of all themselves.

The meaning of the shaming of Roseanne Barr and Donald Trump is that the U.S. and it’s media is still largely Puritan, Yankee, Democratic and Christian in its values despite this Republican upsurge. If the Democrats can mobilize the apathetic base, it can be turned around in the next election and be more pluralistic. We are a young country, still deciding who we want to be when we grow up.

The Sacrifice Model Shores up Patriarchy

My last post was about men as subject, women as object and how that can pivot so that men are objectified as well under the paradigm of patriarchy.  That’s not something that most women are aware of. First, let me remind my readers that neither male nor female dominance in a civilization is ideal. We came from 5000 years of matriarchy which preceded patriarchy and now we are shifting again. My hope is that we don’t go back to the mistakes and abuses of matriarchy just because it’s in our collective unconscious ancestral memory. I believe women have evolved ahead of men but men have come a long way as well in 5000 years. The idea here is for humanity and the earth to move into our conscious minds, or reasonable mind engendered by the balance between intuition and rationality. That will then fill our households, the foundation of our societies the world over.

Gender equity or balance of power will lead us to less militarism, more peace, more great sex, and more love. Yes, I’m an idealist but some partners are succeeding. It occurred to me yesterday that when you have the subject-object system going, which is what patriarchy thrives on, both subject and object, both men and women are sacrificed for the profit of the 1% on the planet, even though patriarchy makes it appear as though men are in charge. They aren’t really. They only have what women let them have. Imagine for a moment the suggestion of “Lysistrata” coming to pass?

Lysistrata is a Greek comedy written by Aristophanes about women boycotting sex with men in order to quell the endless wars of that age. What if today, women all over the planet found the wherewithal to stop making porn videos altogether, stopped having sex with their husbands/boyfriends/partners, and halted reproduction until men got the message of respecting our humanity and not just looking to us for sex and food attention but as a friend and a mate? Maybe this is what lesbians wish would happen. There is a whole group of feminists that believe that until women take full charge of their body and stop sharing it with men, women don’t stand a chance of true liberation. I just ponder that in my circumstantial celibacy. I will say that it’s truly empowering to live alone and be in full charge of my body and my physical energy as a female. I’ve become fully aware of how much all of the men I’ve known have taken sex and food from me and how little they’ve truly given back. It’s not an awareness I relish and I’m certainly not saying that I believe all men do that.

Subjects are sacrificed to the 1% who in turn are brainwashed or socially engineered to sacrifice the objects. Men are “subjected” to the dictates of family, state, church, and corporation and sacrificed and rewarded for handing over the control of their heart and mind to that. That’s how Trump got elected in provincial, small-town America which is trapped in it’s subconscious, family-programmed mind!

Part of the purpose of the social engineering is to objectify and eat women for breakfast. Women are to be consumed; sexual consumption and food consumption. Men are not taught to see us as full human beings with a mind and heart but to overlook all of that, no matter how smart or successful we are in order to objectify and subsume us; no matter what. Her provision of children is only a mask for the man that makes him appear more socially acceptable to all of the institutions listed above. Let’s not forget that he is not acting from a whole heart and mind. If he did, he would be a damned artist or poet, drugged in a psych ward and living on the fringes.  We can’t have that frightful prospect, can we? I’m half kidding.

There are millions of men and women who are free spirits and see through the charade of civilization though and we own houses, pay our bills and mow the lawn. It does take guts to join us though and we’re usually not rich.

So you see the subject-object title is interchangeable. The subjects are also brought to be objects for the elite; especially in war (the honored dead, mostly male), in sports, and in corporate life. It’s incumbent on men and women to jump out of the subject-object roles and live a free life.

my-kite-1@2x

“My Kite” by Paige Bradley

 

All Who Wander Are Not Lost

Have you heard that phrase before? This study finds that women and men navigate differently. Check out the results of this study.

The writer of the results doesn’t state that woman’s intuition, which is half of all reasoning ability, is in play here but I can tell you it is. I’m a woman. I know how I navigate and it sure as heck isn’t to get there quicker! I want to wander to see what I stumble onto. It’s fun! I like to see new things in the world. A new route is great fun.

I live just about every day of my life predominantly in this mode yet the rational side of my brain is engaged enough for me to enjoy computer programming and my work in healthcare. I succeed and pay the bills so my way works.

I navigate my writing, especially prose, in wander mode as well and I’m sure not lost, yet I have no plan. That’s vital to be inspired and truly creative. No recipes used! We, women know our muses, our physical instincts, our senses, the vibes coming from the earth and weather.

We live in that soup 24/7 and the women who want to be more like men, what’s the matter with you? I’m guessing her mother didn’t model loving her body and sex as a woman. In no way are we supposed to follow what men want. That’s why patriarchy has gotten away with so much.

I love being a woman and navigating the dark crevices of my existence. That is in fact, how meaning in life is found; by wandering using your intuition.

Subject-Object in Life

Remember diagraming those sentences in school? Subject, verb, object. “What is the subject of the sentence and how does it act (the verb) on the object?”

There is much hoopla made of women being sexually objectified but when these issues come up, I always try to think about it intuitionally as well as rationally because it’s so easy to stereotype based on gender.

It is widely observed that males do tend to be the subject of most movies, books, sporting events, commercials, anchors on the news, utility companies, Presidents, and CEOs. The male perception of things does, in fact, run the planet. That’s patriarchy.

But does that mean that men are never objectified? Think about the system of patriarchy a second. Patriarchy is about usage and consumption. It’s about money, power, death, and oppression, control and victory at any cost. There isn’t much good about it. I’d say there is nothing good about it. In a system such as that, militarism, monetary debt, toxic waste, pathological lying, corrupt government leaders and religion are rife. It doesn’t do much good on the planet. But both women and men shore up patriarchy by accepting their roles of subject-object and rarely reversing them. They could reverse them, or in a loving partnership, both of them are subjects and never objects. So, in that scenario, isn’t it reasonable to assume that:

“Patriarchy eats everything”; Subject/verb/object. Men are consumed as well by the monster. They, in turn, are taught and expected to consume woman.

No one escapes and no one wins really. That means men are objectified too by the system as being set up over and over again as the subject of every last, damn, thing. They are, after all, most of the millions dead from two World Wars. Just watch TV with pen and paper and make two columns Male/Female and make a vertical slash every time you see a woman, every time you see a man and watch the men’s column pile up. That’s not a good thing for men or for women. It’s unbalanced! I personally wouldn’t want all that focus. It’s too much pressure. When women are portrayed on TV they are rarely if ever portrayed as subjects or the ones acting first in the sentence. If they are it’s as a conniving wench, a bitch, a sweet mother or a nurse. Patriarchy doesn’t allow for women to be portrayed as a strong subject; a female lead. Hillary Clinton did that and she was crucified. The message, “Women, don’t ever try to be the subject of the sentence in the United States of America.”

I’ve had too many men say to me, “You just want attention.” My response, “No, I’d just like to be the subject, not the object being acted upon by you most of the time.” But somehow, I doubt most women even know they’re the object being acted upon. They take it for granted that it is their role because they follow system dictates unconsciously. The media and the church do the brainwashing.

For the first time in my life, living in the house I own, I am the subject of my own life and I am able to give focus and make each of my patients that come here the subject in my office. I started out my physical life as a child being extremely objectified by my parents, then school, then college, then my parents literally threw me to a Chicago curb when I was eighteen like so much garbage, then men, on and on for half of my life. Women are not seen or known or even wanting to be known by anyone as people! But are men either? They have that subject role to carry around all the time like a rock in a backpack. Not even our other women friends who are too busy being objectified by their families that define them, want to spend time with me.

Well, in my house, “The patient receives therapy from me.” Subject/verb/object. I guess I’m a pronoun in my office. That’s just fine because I’m the subject of my life the rest of the time because I have important work to do and I’m doing it. I’m on this planet to act, not be acted upon and that’s not selfish. It’s what we all need to do; act on behalf of ourselves in our own lives so we can unconditionally give to one another.

My Father Died Yesterday

No feelings, no different, don’t mind at all.

No attachment, no reaction, it’s like I’m a wall.

Can’t apologize really, he didn’t care about we girls.

We weren’t boys after all which would have been worth the world.

If he had he’d have said so between letters and gabs

But instead, there was silence and non-apologetic stabs.

It’s a very odd feeling to not flinch in the least about the passing

of a man that did this great feat.

What great feat? I only have 2% of my parent’s genes

It’s the case for us all so big deal, sign the lease.

My little sister stayed quiet about his behavior at home

Me, on the other hand, I wouldn’t leave the truth alone.

So “Family is Everything” say the placards aplomb

I say “Self-esteem, the truth,  and taking care” wins hands down.

Woman on a mountain

Earthly Security is Counterintuitive

When I look at those first two words together I see a paradox. Take Hawaii for instance; right now havoc is being wrecked by Kilauea. There are hundreds of examples all over the world every year and more lately that prove that our Earth is anything but secure. It’s constantly changing, just as our bodies are changing due to evolution; either through enlightenment which lifts it up or depression which drags it down. Both are choices left up to us.

Planning for entropy and dissolution may be realistic since that’s what we see all around us right? I only half believe what I just typed because of mass hypnosis. Group thoughtforms travel around the globe and become manifest realities in this hologram of time that we live in. I generally channel and watch them but never accept them. It feels a bit like being an eagle but I’m definitely not a predator. The gift of sight is there though and I often see things coming ahead of time. Anyone can do it if you’re willing to let your mind leave earth confines sometimes.

My intuition tells me that the way we experience aging, death, and disease is not in the least bit necessary. Being holistic for the last twenty years, I have facts backing that up. The problem here is barely anyone does what is called for to transform their consciousness in order to make the dream a reality. Most human beings follow each other, their upbringing and their friends to feel secure. I get that. I love feeling secure too until it hits me that it’s a dream made clear by events. There are no winners here under that paradigm. Like lemmings to the shore, we all go in and drown. That is counterintuitive as well when there are facts that can be transformed into knowledge.

We can transform our intuition about the Earth and our own emotional needs into knowing and accepting the facts on this one. There is no Earth security and we are deluding ourselves to believe in any form of it whatsoever.  A lot of people make a lot of money off of selling you delusional security. Sure, we all have all the insurance policies that come in handy, but when you’re on your deathbed and need to say goodbye, the bill that comes due says “How did you spend your time?” Did you spend it pleasing others and doing what they thought you should do or did you know and love yourself deeply enough to follow your passion and not need anyone’s permission to have a go-around doing whatever flipped your light switch?

Security doesn’t come from money, insurance policies, a good job, a thousand friends, or making sure you have permission to be who others expect you to be. It comes from knowing your own soul, your body, and giving yourself permission to be authentic. That is true power. You don’t lose any of that when you die because it’s not material.
a Great Tree

 

Physical Intuition Counts When You Fight

This is my theory anyway. When it comes to disagreement or a fight between partners, the physical relationship or sex dictates the way two people fight. This is a bit mysterious to me but I think we’ve always known that tension and competition between human beings are sexual. Right? It’s not particularly conscious but in a way, we’re all attracted to each other. I guess you could call it love, whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual. But which person we actually have sex with depends on those pheromones.

My intuition tells me that if a man brings no feelings to my body or his own body, and he feels he can mentally maintain the upper hand in a dispute, he would be incorrect. Feelings are more powerful and primal than thoughts. The body is emotions for men and women. I think this is why the presence of women in the public workplace is disruptive for males, whether they’re conscious of it or not. If they have no sexual relationship with her, they have no emotional connection and thus no real power over her. It is important for women to understand that love and feelings for a man happen in direct relationship to a woman’s physical body (sex). That is not the case for women! For women, feelings and bonding happen first through talking, communicating, VIBING (intuition). Then she decides whether to bring in sex which just adds another layer. Men need to understand that. If she is smarter or very smart, which women tend to be, she can dominate the situation at work where there is money involved. Think about that.

Thinking rationally is fairly new to human beings if not still novel! It’s wet paint on the wall of evolution, not yet dry. Humans are instinctual more than rational. Or you could view following your instinct as rational at this point. I’m not saying that scientific calculations are useless. But without intuitive calculations, they are not as likely to be correct.

Women can be rational and intuitive at the same time in a dispute. Men cannot. I believe women have evolved this ability as mothers in order to control our children. Rational thinking gave men a leg up in the evolution of the hunt so did they get lazy on intuition? Men’s intuition is an interesting subject and one I know nothing about. I do believe it’s there.

My point is when it comes to making an argument with your partner, the more your intuition is tuned into feelings or can read the situation, the more likely it is you’ll be heard and possibly even come to a resolution. Wouldn’t that be novel between women and men? (Sigh)

male-female